Hi world.

I can’t believe it’s only 2.30. for I’ve been up for at least half an hour without looking at my phone. Plus it’s the second time I woke up and I only got to sleep after midnight. I’m not sure why I haven’t been able to sleep these past few nights. Or how to change it. Oh well. Just saying.

I’ve music playing on shuffle. At the moment it’s that’s what scars are for by Mandisa. I like her songs that aren’t too religious.

So asides for the no sleep I think I’m doing okay. I don’t trust myself on that for I can’t see any difference in how I feel now vs Sunday or Wednesday. Sunday I can hear the thoughts which aren’t overtaking everything as they were then. But Sunday I dealt with by self harming. What about Wednesday? I don’t know. I can’t see anything. I tried dialogue journaling and get nothing. So I don’t trust what is. For I don’t know what the nothingness means. Or when or how it will change.

I’ve been reaching out to a bunch of therapists online. Most replied they don’t have time. 2 I arranged to speak to tomorrow. I’ll see what they have to say- whether and how they’d respond if I’d been a client this past week. And how if I’d ask for therapy bow they’d move forward. I know they may just not handle it (though I wouldn’t have emailed them if I thought that). I’ll see if they’re an option then ask my gp what he thinks on Tuesday. I’ve supposedly an appointment on Tuesday a week but I just hope it’s before midnight.

I’m sounding boring to myself and feel like anyone reading this is going to fall asleep.

Love light and glitter


15 thoughts on “Can’t sleep

      1. then keep yourself busy all day, treat yourself, exercise and sleep well tonight … and if you don’t you will catch up soon! Pressure will keep you alert, so chill 😎

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Hopefully you’ll get more sleep tonight Eliza – I am going to bed early myself. I used to go to bed several night a week by 9:00 p.m. because I get up early, especially in good weather, for walking before work. Have you any more luck finding a close by walking group? Originally when we wrote about it, it was still cold and wintry. The fresh air would help immensely.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I signed up for a bunch of meetups but none really seem relevant somehow.

      I hope you go back to 9pm bedtimes, it’ll be good for you and hey maybe it’ll cause spring to come faster – I wish! There’s actually the most gorgeous blue sky out my window making me think I should get up.

      I actually did get a bit more sleep tonight which I’m super grateful for

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m glad you got more sleep too Eliza because they say there are so many health issues that come from not getting enough sleep. I am going to get to bed earlier now that the sun is rising earlier. I don’t go anywhere outside if it is dawn or dusk … too much crime around here, but I hate seeing myself scrambling to get out the door all the time. When I worked, I got up super early, did a lot more to get ready to go out in the world, and still made it out the door very early to catch the bus. So, I hate myself if I am up late, get up later, and then have to cut my walk short. I sure am no longer disciplined … that’s for sure!

        Liked by 1 person

              1. It is – not getting the proper sleep is bad for your health and I’m trying to remedy that, but it is difficult … some of the side effects of little sleep are: the risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, and diabetes.

                I’m sorry I slept in later today as it is making for a short day. I didn’t get anything done – intended to some housework, but also wanted to try out this Gutenberg Editor – I was concerned about wanting to do a post one day and going to do it, with lots of pictures and then a new Editor and couldn’t figure it out. I only did one picture today but wait til I have a lot of pics when I have gone on a long walk – I think it will take some getting used to – I resist change. πŸ™‚

                Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s