There. I said it. I want to stop using. I don't like to post twice in a day. But I'm going to post this anyways... I feel like I can't breathe. I'm scared to want to stop. I'm scared because I know I need it. I'm scared because it gives me a handle on life.…
Random thoughts/update. TW.
I'm trigger warning this because I have no idea what I'll be writing and I don't need to filter what I say. It's easier for me to just write. SG I trust you to choose. This week has been long. I slept last night! I woke up a few times but I actually slept. That's…
Today has been today.
Today has been. Today. Today has been today. How profound is that? This morning I was messaging TC (a friend) which was good. T always makes me smile. Even just thinking of her. And she shared something cool with me. This morning as in my kind of 'morning'. This afternoon went out. Was just really…
How do you identify yourself?
Just a thought. Trying to clarify this in my mind. There's a lot of darkness. There's a lot of negativity. Some of the choices I'm making really are not the best. However, and this is a big point, I get to choose what I identify with. How I identify myself. What choices define me and…
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58720 – Do I want therapy?
So, I spoke this woman. She seemed nice. For a referral from a year or so ago. I don't know if I want therapy. I don't know what I want. I know that I should be open to the messages the universe sends to me. It, and the next couple appointments are just assessing to…
Can one recover from an Eating Disorder
What does recovery look like?
So many people view recovery as complete abstinence from whatever it is (too many things to list) for life. Although for now that is how it is for me, I need the complete abstinence for else I’ll mess up, I believe it doesn’t have to be that way. I believe recovery means that it’s no longer a part of your life. That it’s a non issue.
What do you think?
Thank you S.S for writing and sharing this. I really appreciate it! For proving that it can be done.
Recovery IS possible.
So long as there’s life, there’s hope.
This post is for Eliza following her request earlier today. Check out her blog https://elizajourneythroughlife.home.blog/.
I’ve written a number of posts about living with and overcoming from an eating disorder. Today I want to talk about living in recovery. I’ve been recovered for about 10 years now. It’s different in so many ways. One of them is having the ability to actively choose to self-soothe with food without going in a full relapse.
Shortly after my mother died I had a stressful day that pushed me to my emotional limits. Grief, stress, and worry weighed on me. One of those days where everything goes wrong and nothing helps relieve it. I’d used every coping skill in my arsenal. I thought about how much I just wanted a piece of cake. I went through the mental gymnastics of how it wouldn’t really make it better and all the reasons why…
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Who serves whom?
Just a thought. If I use (applies to self harm, ED, anything), who is serving who? Is using serving me, or am I serving using? Really, in my head it goes Do I serve (at the alter of) using, or is using serving me? I find that thought quite sobering. I mean figuratively, but literally,…
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Gratitude challenge: Day 12
Day 12: What and how did you overcome recently? The question reminds me of this song. Overcoming. I find the word weird. I'd love to hear your answers! The biggest thing I've overcome recently is living with an eating disorder. If the question wasn't recently I'd answer with something different. For the past couple of…
Journey to life 