You did it!! We did it!!

These are the images I've posted recently on Instagram We're at the end of 2020. And you did it. I did it. We did it. I didn't think I'd make it through the year, yet here I am. Here you are. It's been one hell of a ride these past months. Although I haven't replied…

Thinking of you all

I've kinda been living in my head these past months. I've come up for air a few times. Looked at either the first posts in my reader, or a few of those in my notifications or emails. I'm not sure who decides what shows where. I haven't been around recently. Not on here. (Nor on…

Thoughts.

I'm sad. Someone messaged me a really gorgeous message that it's been a while since they've heard from me and they're a little worried and could I please respond. No pressure but yes pressure. I'm sad. I'm sad I scared her. I don't even know if she was scared. I remember TC telling me when…

At the moment…

I'm not rereading this. Blaming it on the hour. Trigger warning. I just want to put this down. Today has been long. R'R asked a charity here if they can help. Why does he care??? So had work this morning, then filled out this online link, work, people. Then. Last week I took a blood…

When there’s nothing to say…

Trigger warning suicidality. ... the past week has been chaotic. Chaotic is an understatement. And there is no way I'd ever write in public what I'm thinking or doing at the time. I wouldn't even wrote it in password protected posts. Because they could be read. Even though I know most people don't read them.…

I've an appointment with the CMHT (community mental health team) tomorrow morning - this morning really. My alarm is set for about 6.5 hours from now. Was messing with burning which I don't count as burning because it doesn't scar. Finally stopped. I don't feel nervous at all. I guess I am in some way.…

In a years time I want to…

I'd appreciate thoughts. I think I'm being really realistic here although it's noncomprehensive as was just writing (I can only 'just write', I don't know how to edit or alter what I say. I only know how to just let my pen or in this case finger talk). I think it's realistic because I didn't…