I’ve an appointment with the CMHT (community mental health team) tomorrow morning – this morning really. My alarm is set for about 6.5 hours from now.

Was messing with burning which I don’t count as burning because it doesn’t scar. Finally stopped. I don’t feel nervous at all. I guess I am in some way. Haven’t done this in ages.

Hoping and praying it goes okay. Trying to out the intention out there to the universe that the best should be.

It’s the morning after yom kippur. It’s kinda an auspicious time.

Going to try and go to sleep.

Really hoping it will be okay…. that something comes from it…

49 thoughts on “

  1. “Was messing with burning which I don’t count as burning because it doesn’t scar.”

    I wonder what life would be like if I had to justify my relapses by saying I don’t count it as a relapse unless I crash a vehicle drunk driving or get arrested…

    Just a thought.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Actually discussed that. I don’t think I realised until today how much I had my life on track. I wasn’t where I wanted to be, but I was working towards getting there.
      Don’t know why. She too thought it’d be helpful to know.
      Isn’t anything for now. As in, from this they’ll make an appointment for a psych assessment, and no clue the rigmarole from there.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. How did your appointment go, Eliza? I’m glad you were able to stop after doing a little burning and that you’re still trying to keep some positive vibes going despite how you’re feeling. I really do hope the appointment well as well as possible and that the person you saw was genuine and compassionate (which counts for a lot, doesn’t it?) Sending hugs xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It just was. The CMHT will make a psych appointment.
      After 1.5 hours but yeah. I guess stopping counts. And wasn’t anything major.
      She was! Definitely does make a difference. She gave me space and for some reason said a lot how good I was etc. Which, yeah. I appreciated it after.
      How have you been? Are you home at the moment? Sending sunshine!!! Hope the weather is better by you…

      Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s been :). I was freaking at the time but glad it’s over. They’ll make an appointment for a psych evaluation before they offer anything. Hopefully not in too long.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Hmm. It was. It means the service accepted me, but doesn’t mean anything yet, for they’ll arrange for a psych assessment. And not sure if then they’ll offer anything, or not…

      Liked by 1 person

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