Hold on

I’m just re-reading the last letter, 2nd to last actually, that I wrote to myself. I really need to hear it at the moment.

I’m tired. I just did something really stupid. I chose to do something stupid. I’d eaten way too much junk and was feeling nauseous….. and however much I’m trying to be healthy with food and not do anything about it if I eat too much, it’s also not something I’m really trying to stay away from. So now I want to mess up. It’s interesting for me to see, for I don’t think throwing up usually makes me want to mess up so badly, but now it does – or not it has. And it’s my own actions that has brought me here. I’m just tired. And I need to be journaling and dealing with what’s going on more than I have been doing.

Hold on Eliza, always. It is worth it. This journey is worth it. It’s a journey filled with ups and downs. It’s a journey of learning,. Of learning who you are. Remember that letter you wrote to yourself about the journey? It is a journey. One I am so grateful you are taking. It so could have been otherwise. You could have given in any point along the way. Yet, you didn’t. You held on.

You held on.

Hold on to life Eliza. Hold on to how worth it you, and this journey you are travelling, is and will be.

I’m looking forward to being with you on this ride. You are one of the most awesome people I have met and I’m looking forward to getting to know you. I’m looking forward to discovering who you are. I’m looking forward. To see where life can and will take us.

Just hold on.

letter to myself

Just hold on. I know it will pass. I know it always does pass. I know the only way for it to pass is for me to live with it, live through it, and let it be. I know I’ve done it before. I know I can do it now too. I’m tired. And tomorrow is another day.