MBSR (2) – Primary and Secondary Experiences

Mindfulness attitudes - Beginner’s Mind or Curiosity, Patience, Non-judging, Non-striving, Kindness and Compassion towards ourselves and others, Trust, Acceptance or Allowing, Letting Go 

I don’t think I’ll write this well but wanted to put this down for someone here.

Random thought. Mindfulness reminds me a lot of Innate Health. Of just being.

Reminder of mindfulness attitudes

• Beginners mind – curiosity
• Not judging
• Patience
• Non striving – don’t stress too much – have a goal but don’t put too much pressure/time frame
• Kindness and compassion to self and others.
• Trust in the process and yourself.
• Acceptance and allowing – letting whatever you experience be, and accept it. It just is.
• Letting go. Being in the moment. Letting things be as they are.

There are our primary experiences. Our secondary experiences. And tertiary experiences. Going on and on.

The primary experience is what actually happened. In the mindfulness class they gave the example of being stuck in a traffic jam. The secondary experience which they called everything is how you react to that. The tertiary experience would be the reaction to the reaction – I know they didn’t say it but I think it’s true. And we can go on and on. I just don’t know the name for number 4 which is why I’m not saying fourthery…

There are 3 ways we experience things

  1. Physically/somatically – in our bodies
  2. Mentally – in our heads (thoughts)
  3. Emotionally – our feelings.

These are all secondary to what happened.

Primary – I’m stuck in a traffic jam 》 secondary – I may panic (physically) I’m going to be late, and/or wonder what everyone will think of me (mentally), and/or be angry I’m stuck (emotionally). 》Tertiary – I may feel guilty for being angry. I may think I shouldn’t care. I may judge myself for whatever my reactions are…..

I didn’t sleep all night and I’m exhausted the next day which gives me much less headspace for people.

That’s what happened. Those are the facts. Usually I may get frustrated and upset and blame myself or shut down.

The point of mindfulness is just to be aware. To identify the actual experience. To identify the response. To identify after that.

If I’m aware of what the actual experience is, I can stop the spiral. For me that’s the thought spiral as I don’t feel much or really experience anything much in my body.

I’m late for work.

The fact is I’m late for work. It happens to all of us. I could panic. I could know that I’ll be fired because I was late. I could judge myself for being s bad teacher. I could break down in tears.

I could then also react to my reaction. If someone made me late and I yelled at them I could hate myself for that.

Or I could pause. Either in the middle or afterwards. And see, okay I was late for the work. If I notice it there. Or see that I was late for work and yelled. I was late for work and cried. I was late for work and panicked. Whatever the experience was, was.

The best example I can think of is the thought spiral I entered when I knew my period was going to start in a couple days, and that lead to the surety that I’d be dead through suicide. When I was aware of the entire spiral I actually found it funny. Because c’mon. I have my period every month (or not). We all do (or not). I found it humourous to see how that my period was going to start had translated to I’m going to kill myself. Following and identifying the thought cycle that had lead there was eye opening. Not exactly on primary and secondary experiences, but on topic.

It’s okay

It’s okay
It’s okay to be tired
It’s okay
It’s okay to be wired

It’s okay for it to hurt
It’s okay to want to give up
It’s okay to disassociate
It’s okay for it to be too much

It’s okay
It’s okay to be you
It’s okay to be real
It’s okay to do

It’s okay

It’s okay if others
Can’t understand
It’s okay if you never do
All that you have planned

It’s okay if all you do
Is get up today
It’s okay if every moment feels
As though you’re going astray

It’s okay

Your reality is yours
No one else can change it
It’s okay – all of it
Embrace it, live with it

The only way to move past anything
Is to move into it
Accept it and yourself then maybe
You can move past it

It’s okay

Whatever your reality is or isn’t
Know for today
That it, and you, always are
Always will be, okay.

I’m reposting it because people seemed to like it and now it’ll be on my blog. I found it a lil strange how many people told me they appreciated it, because I was talking to myself. I was writing to myself. When I shared it I didn’t expect all the feedback and appreciation. I didn’t expect so many of you to tell me you appreciated the reminder of found it helpful. Thank you. Thank you for appreciating it. Thank you for telling me so…

Love, light, and glitter

How do you perceive the world?

I just wrote this. Not sure what I’m trying to say with it ..

Sometimes I feel like everyone sees things so differently to me.

I just saw a post on Instagram about fat phobia and my only thought was, but why would someone think or feel that way? Like obviously everyone likes everyone and doesn’t judge and is accepting of everyone. 

Sometimes I think I live in a world of rainbows and unicorns. I see the world that way. And no one else seems to. And it’s weird in a way. And jarring.

And of course I see the world…. I’m destroying myself at the moment (pretty literally). My siblings make sure to educate me constantly. My friends have all been through, are going through, so much.

Yet I still think of the world and people as all good and awesome and everyone else seems to think differently. It’s just, I don’t even have the words to put it down what it feels like. Like I perceive something and it seems like almost everyone perceives it differently. And no, I don’t want to change.

Sunday smiles – A letter from Kate. You are awesome!

Kate’s letter is gorgeous and made me want to cry. Well worth reading…

a love letter to YOU!

From Kate

Dear Hearts,

This is an open letter just to let you know how much you are loved, how precious each and every one of you are. The mere fact that you are alive brings sunshine into our world daily!

I know that we all have a good heart, and sure some may have more layers to peel off than most. But each of us are doing the best that we can … especially all the kind supportive friends I’ve made world wide here at WP.

We are going through some particularly difficult and challenging times lately. For some restrictions are easing while others seem caught in a downward vortex.

Although we may all be in this together remember that some do have more resources to cushion the blow than others. Such as stable housing, funds to buy sufficient supplies and pay for medical assistance as needed. These factors alone are a huge blessing as most of our world are currently struggling with these very basics.

Incomes are no longer assured, some countries provide safety nets yet the majority don’t. So what I’m suggesting is that we all be grateful for what we do have and try to share with those who don’t have.

While fear and anger reign we all pay the toll … so kindness and acceptance go a very long way to cheering both our self and each other up in this time of turmoil. No point in sugar coating it but we each have immense inner strength, resilience, that we can draw on. Use it to it’s full potential because it will keep you balanced.

If you find yourself getting snappy, saying nasty things or overwhelmed by anxiety know that none of this is normal. That every single one of us have had our life turned upside down and trampled on. Each of us are fragile in various ways. Missing family and friends, deprived of touch and company, not able to socialise and keep ourselves busy with our usual distractions.

Might be time to find other healthier distractions, such as hobbies, helping, networking … coz sulking, avoidance and fear can become insurmountable. So rather than chew another out, extend a warm smile leave a book, a rock, a teddy bear in your window or on a seat … share the love or whatever brings you joy!

As your heart opens it heals those around you. Use humour, nature, write, create … find your healing outlet and as your mood lifts it ripples out to others and we all feel lighter and brighter.

Now enough from me, know that you are loved, that I am thinking of you, that I hold you in my heart and my prayers, that I wish you nothing but the best … know that you ROCK! And if this has helped even in a small way then please pass it on to whomever it may help so that we can support and heal each other.

How I dread chain letters but if this one can help please make it one … a chain of tender sincere love to warm and nurture you as you deal with all that comes your way today and in the following months. You may feel alone but know that you are not …

much love aunty Kate

PS you are my rainbow, my sunshine, you are divine … remember that!

How do you fill a cup with a crack in it?

Can you fill a cup with a crack in it?

I wonder if I’ll fully write this post. Maybe if I keep it short. I replied to this in a comment to Keith, and said it deserves a post of its own. I’m in the middle of writing numerous posts. If I don’t finish it, it just doesn’t happen. I know how to go with the flow. I don’t know how to get back to writing something I started. Well, we’ll see if this is something I’ll publish or not. Bring that I haven’t written anything yet!!!!

It’s always easiest to explain what I mean when I bring it to my life.

EV is an older email friend of mine. Someone put us in touch for that purpose. She feels old which I find funny. I guess I’ve grown up in an older family so don’t see 70 as old. Though we’ve been in touch since she was early 60s. Rambling off tangent as usual. Anyways, I used to ask her for reassurance that she was there. A lot. Until it got to the point that it wasn’t healthy. (We worked through it, got past it). It taught me a lot that relationship.

It taught me that she could never tell me enough that she was there. However much she would tell me I wouldn’t, couldn’t, believe it or hear it.

AH – my ex therapist – once told me that I wasn’t believing that he could possibly care about me.

Safety. Trust. Believing people can care. Believing you’re worth it. Believing you are lovable.

I used to think it can come from others. I used to think people can pour it into the cup. Until I learned that if you pour into a cup that has no bottom nothing can stay in. It’s bottomless. Nothing is ever, can ever, be enough.

There has to be a cup there. When there is a cup there, people can pour into it.

So is it the internal or the external?

Well really, it’s a mixture of both. The external can never be absorbed unless there is the internal. However, that’s not to say that nobody external can help you build the internal. Also, take a crack with gaps. The water stays in the cup. It may drop out and need refilling more often, but the water poured into it stays. And, people can definitely help you build the cup.

I stopped asking for reassurance in relationships. Any kinda relationship I mean. Because I realised that I didn’t hear what was said. I couldn’t hear it and the words made no difference. (That didn’t stop me from listening almost daily to AH’s voice message telling me I wouldn’t push him away).

And I feel like this isn’t worth posting for it doesn’t really say anything…

For yes, I think we all know that there has to be a cup to pour things into if we want it to stay. It has to be internally absorbed, known, for the external to make a difference. And I also think we all know that people can help you build that cup. That the external sources can help you build that internal resource.

How do I identify friends? : Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-Mids

This is an awesome post that skinnyhobbit shared on building friendships. Identifying different types of relationships and taking them further. Although it’s written for teachers to help children it’s perfect for everyone.

Source: How I Do It: Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-Mids

How I Do It: Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-Mids

April 23, 2018 by 10 Comments

How I Do It: Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-Mids

How I Do It: Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-MidsMany of our AAC learners need help building the knowledge and skills that are important when trying to connect with others and develop true friendships. In this post, SLP Katie Bernadkin shares one approach that she uses with her students. Katie is a New York City native now working in San Diego middle and elementary schools. She focuses on autism, AAC, and social cognition. In this post, she explains how uses Social Thinking’s Peer-A-Mid concept to support her students.


How I Do It: Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-MidsBuilding a Peer-a-mid

Do you have any kids on your caseload that have a hard time recognizing when other kids are attempting to befriend them? Conversely, do you know the student who seems to always end up with a “friendly” peer, who is daring them to say something naughty? Recognizing these signs is such a valuable skill for our socially challenged kids to learn.

How I Do It: Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-MidsI like to start with the concept of “Friend or Dneirf” from the Social Thinking Curriculum and then, teach the PEER-A-MID by Social Thinking. First, I introduce the definitions for these concepts.

A friend is someone who:

  • Is kind and respectful to you
  • Shares interests with you
  • Looks forward to talking with you
  • Cares about your feelings

A dneirf is someone who:

  • Pretends to be your friend when they want something
  • Makes you do things you are not comfortable doing
  • Dneirfs make fun of you when others are around

How I Do It: Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-MidsWe also discuss what to consider if you are not sure:How I Do It: Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-Mids

  • Does this person talk to me in many different situations?
  • Does this person share their things with me?
  • Does this person care about my feelings?
  • Does this person treat me with respect?How I Do It: Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-Mids

Someone who spends time doing fun things with you? FRIEND! Enjoys talking to you? FRIEND! Only talks to you when you bring candy to school? DNEIRF! I include many more examples as well, before asking the students to identify more on their own. There are many great movies to illustrate this concept, but my favorite, bar none, is Mean Girls (warning: you may need to filter those some of those clips!).How I Do It: Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-Mids

Once the students have clear definitions of what Friends and Dneirfs look like, the process of identifying real life Dneirfs happens quickly! For example: ”Hey! Jeff teases me when Tom is around… He’s a DNEIF!” “Molly cares about my feelings, she’s a friend!”How I Do It: Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-Mids

After I’m sure they understand the Friend or Dneirf, I introduce Social Thinking’s PEER-A-Mid. If you’ve never seen the PEER-A-Mid, open up your Social Thinking books. It’s an amazing visual for our students who need these abstract concepts to be more concrete and visual. It breaks down and demonstrates the progression of friendship into 6 categories.

The Friendship Levels are defined as shown in the graphic below.

There are also two bonus categories:

  1. Mean people, a.k.a. DNEIRFS (under the pyramid)
  2. On-again, off-again friendships, people who fade in and out of your life at different times.How I Do It: Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-Mids

I use a variety of Youtube videos to illustrate these friendship levels. I use videos from The Office, Elf, Diary of a Wimpy Kid and even It. While playing the videos, I pause them and I ask questions about what is “expected” or “unexpected” about the behavior in the video and what may be the consequences of the behaviors. For example, the clip from Diary of a Wimpy Kid shows Greg sticking up for Rowley, which means they must be “bonded friends.” However, we wouldn’t expect our mail man, with whom we share friendly greetings, to look out for us in that way.How I Do It: Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-Mids

Next, the students move on to match behaviors with a level of friendship. They are provided with a checklist of more detailed examples, then when they match the behavior with the friendship level, they have to provide me with their reasoning from the list. For example:

  • “You see a person walking a dog”
  • “Well, that’s a Friendly Greeting”
  • “Tell me why”

  • “Because they are friendly, but you don’t really know them”
  • You tell Melissa a secret about herself”
  • “Close friend”
  • Tell me why”
  • “You can open up to this person about your secrets and thoughts”How I Do It: Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-Mids

I put up a Peer-A-Mid visual while we work on this for the students to use. This year, my studentclinician made an amazing analogy comparing evolving relationships to evolving Pokemon. When you meet someone, you start off as Charmander. Then, you might see them, help them or talk to them, and evolve to Charmeleon. Finally, after putting in effort, hanging out, looking out for one another and sharing thoughts and secrets, you make it to Charizard. ALL of the students made a connection to that! The visual is another way to make something really nuanced, more concrete and visual.How I Do It: Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-Mids

Once they know the levels pretty well, I move on to another activity. We make actual Peer-A-Mid Pyramids. The objective of this activity is to have them identify an expectation of the friendship level and, more importantly, to identify people they know in real life, who fall into those 6 levels. For you, as the clinician, this will be a really telling activity.

It reveals:

  • Kids that have wellrounded answers
  • Students that mostly identify teachers/adults as their friends
  • Kids that only identify other Special Education students as their friends
  • Students that only identify peers from social skills groups as their friends
  • Those who identify their second grade best friend, who they haven’t talked to in 5 years, as a Level 6 close friend
  • Students that REALLY struggle to come up with names but not expectations (they may leave blanks or take the whole time to put one name on a level)
  • Kids with blank friendship levels who can easily identify acquaintances (this is a great segue to talk about friendship goals and relationships evolving).How I Do It: Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-Mids

After the Peer-a-mid pyramid, I put a graph on the board that is based on a Social Thinking Thinksheet. This Thinksheet has students identify what type of behavior and communication is expected with friends, friendly acquaintances, others, and dneirfs. The group was given the opportunity to work together to generate and discuss responses that were recorded on the whiteboard. If you have a group of students that are more familiar with this concept, they can do this independently, but I prefer to use this as a joint activity. It stimulates great discussion about friendship and should reveal the increasing effort in the hierarchy of the pyramid.How I Do It: Building Friendship Skills with Peer-A-Mids


You can find Katie on social media. Follow her on @themindandthemouth, contact her at katiebernadkin@gmail.com., or visit her at TeachersPayTeachers (https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Store/Themindandthemouth).

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This post was written by Carole Zangari


  • Lori Shaw says:

    I don’t work with this population of kids (and in fact I don’t even work with kids!) but I read right to the end. Great ideas for making the concepts interesting and relevant.

  • Katie says:

    Hi Lori,

    Thanks so much for the feedback. I’m so glad you enjoyed it!

  • Noah says:

    Hi Katie,
    I really loved your approach of making new friends. In my life, i found if the leisure activities one does the more friends he/she has.

  • The SLP and I, (inclusion support teacher for students on the spectrum) would love to teach this. Do you have the template for the peer-a-mid? We’d love a copy.

    • Katie says:


      Thanks for your interest but anything from Social Thinking belongs to them so I don’t think I could share it, but it was very easy to make in Microsoft Word.

  • Kathy says:

    I am an Autism Resource teacher and utilize the social thinking concepts to include the friendship pyramid. I love how you have expanded this concept using visuals and hands-on activities. Would you mind sharing the templates for the actual pyramid? Thanks so much!

    • Katie says:

      Thanks for your interest but anything from Social Thinking belongs to them so I don’t think I could share it, but it was very easy to make in Microsoft Word.

  • Lorinda says:

    Where did you find the template or lesson that has this on the Social Thinking Site? I have looked and have been able to locate it. Or is it in one of their books?

  • Emily says:

    Hi! I love this visual, I’m adapting it for one of my students. What is the blue side of the pyramid? I can see that yellow and pink are Expectations and Names. Thanks for sharing!

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My Cronavirus experience/thoughts

I just read an article on Aish.com that explains why positive and inspirational messages can be detrimental to some people. I loved it… you can read it here.

It made me think of my experience. How I’m doing more things than I was and how this time is so good for me in so many ways.

I put the article first because I don’t want anyone to think that because it’s good for me it has to be good for them…

There’s a few points. One great point was made my S to me recently. She asked me how I was handling it. She said Covid 19 has tipped the world upside down. There are people whose lives were always organised and ordered. They felt like they were in control. Now they are faced with their frailty. They’re faced with instability and a lack of control. However, there are people whose lives are a mess anyways. Who never felt safe within themselves or the world. Their internal world is always upside down. The world turning on its’ hinges might make it even worse – as it has for so many people- and it might not.

There is more calm and stability in my life because of Covid 19, not less. I’ve not been working which means I have so much more time. The time is good for me because it gives me space. I never realised how much pressure I found work to be, but I did. There’s the need to constantly be on the ball, constantly be present, constantly work to help the children. Anything less would be shortchanging the children I work with. I didn’t find the morning such a pressure as so many of my lessons were free lessons. Now that I’m not working I don’t have that pressure.

There was also the pressure, more the anxiety and intensity, of bring around people for so many hours a day. I’m an introvert both by nature and even more so by nurture. I’m awkward around people. Even if they don’t see it. I’m not a part of groups and don’t know how to be a part. It’s not that I always want to, I don’t, I just want the option to be. Now that I’m not at work I don’t ever walk into a staffroom full of people who are all groups that I’m not a part of. I don’t have the constant intensity of being around others.

All the time means I’m blogging more – neither good nor bad. Means I’m online a lot more, not necessarily good, but neither bad. I wish I’d be able to get myself to study more but I’m just not, and that’s okay.

I’m running, couch to 5k, which is amazing for me. I’m so glad I am.

Just been busy. Doing nothing much. I’ve been scrapbooking the last couple of days – something that was left to me, which was good, just crazy busy! But busy with good things.

S said another interesting point, that the energy of the world was unsettlement and pain. She seemed to think it made sense I’d stopped eating. It’s actually good for me in a sense. However unhealthy a coping mechanism it may be it’s giving me the ability to handle the world.

People are stressed around me. I don’t think it’s anything to do with the virus, just their personal life circumstances. Although for some the virus definitely is exacerbating what is going on. I’m trying to keep my emotional boundaries.

For the most part I’m loving the lockdown and the time it has given to me. I hope and pray I don’t start school anytime soon although it seems like the government are set to start on the 1st. I hope my school don’t. I honestly can’t face it….. and if I go into school for the afternoon I’ll be wanted in the morning too. I’m not working in the morning although some people are. All I can do is hope and pray that I don’t have to go back anytime soon and love this whilst it lasts (with shavuot this weekend I anyways don’t have school for the next week. If not for the virus I’d probably be away with my family). It’s the time I love. The time, space, and no pressure….

I hope you are all doing okay and looking after yourself in the best way possible…

How has the lockdown – the time it brings, not the rest of the lockdown – affected you? Do you appreciate not having to see others or do you miss people? Do you have more or less time/headspace?

You are awesome and enough.

Love, light, and glitter

Ramble 36895.

Today is a new day. Exhausted. I’m finding work really long…. I’m enjoying some of what I do, not all. I think if I ever feel like I’m getting somewhere with one of my groups then I’ll be happy. I just find them draining because it drags and I feel like I’m getting absolutely nowhere. The next are fine – rambunctious, exhausting, they’re learning! The next and last have finally caught up to standard – they’re up to where they supposedly were at the beginning of the year, the last months have just been review. Now they can begin learning something new. Interesting for me to see what they’re better at and where their strengths and weaknesses lie, because finally getting somewhere. And my morning I like though it may be changing again. At the moment I teach science and language. Science is a lot of learning myself because I can’t teach it until I fully understand it myself. Which when I grasp it I actually enjoy. So I now know about forces, measuring speed and moments. I know about metals. I know what I never did know. Or if I did I long forgot. I actually didn’t do well in physics in school. I love learning. I love knowledge. My timetable may change yet again though and we will see what is.

Not been sleeping as well. Do you think it is that I havent been messing up? I haven’t self harmed – I was going to erase that and change to burned but truth is that it is self harm regardless if I want to accept it as such – in 3 entire says. Maybe only 2.5. Or used. And it’s major. It’s, it’s that I need to burn, and it’s not what I want for my life. And the not wanting it for my life overrides the need. Which until now it was the opposite. The need was more than the ‘I don’t want this for my life’s. So for now I haven’t and we will find out what is. And I’m kinda proud/appreciate it. Just don’t want to make it into a bigger deal than it is.

My arm is a lot better. Keeping it protected and trying not to pick all the scabs. I’m wondering if picking will cause worse scarring and if I’m lucky most won’t scar.

I really don’t want or like the scars. I thought I could buy a krav maga t shirt I want and add on some coloured sleeves. People at the class bought themselves krav maga tshirts and I think it’s pretty cool and would love one. I won’t wear it short sleeved especially not now when the scars are all new, it’s not a statement of where I’ve been which I’m more okay making publicly, more where I’m at. Asides that it would probably be repellent to people. A good way of dealing with the anxiety of being at the class – keep people away from me. Anyways, so I was thinking about how to get a tshirt and can add sleeves, either like a blue to the black – they are black – or 2 different colours, each sleeve a different colour. I could make the sleeves until the elbow, though that would look weird, as there is a bit of sleeves, so maybe 3/4 length. I should just but one for myself! Can get bigger and tie in a knot at the bottom – what a lot of people there were doing, or smaller and more fitted. Okay, I’ve now decided to buy it.

I spoke on the phone to a friend for an hour. Was interesting coz I was literally about to write her a card, had the card in front of me, just had to get a pen, and she called.

I wonder what I’ll do next week krav maga without my friend. I want to go. I really want to go. I’m not sure how to hear myself up to it. I wish there were someone going I can ask for a lift there so that I’d have it arranged and just go. I never really knew that I lived with anxiety, although I always knew, well for the last few years, that I’ve social anxiety I never knew it affected my life. I guess coz for the most part it doesn’t since for the most part I never ever out of what is safe for me. And occasionally I really push myself, and occasionally however much I want something I just can’t do it. It’s funny for there are some things that others don’t like doing that I just have no issue with. It’s why I wouldn’t necessarily diagnose myself with social anxiety for it doesn’t always have an effect on my life.

I actually arranged to go to have a lesson with someone tomorrow. If I keep to it. It’s meant to be something fun for us both, and if we can keep it up maybe I’ll get a new friend – the friends for fun kinda friend, which will be good, not to be too intense.

I need a dermatology appointment and I called then up and they said I missed an appointment and have been discharged. I didn’t get any letter and was calling to follow up. They gave me a number to call tomorrow and I’m hoping and praying that I get one and don’t have to go through a referral again for that would take months on end. This appointment that I hadn’t known about was 6 months after the referral.. and it really has to be sorted out… the one good thing is that I didn’t know about it for I don’t know if I could have gone, dunno if there would have been a way for them not to see my arms.

And I should get into pjs instead of lying in bed not in pjs. I hope to get some sleep tonight. The last few nights have been really restless. although, I turned off my phone before going to sleep and didn’t turn it on even when up for seemingly hours!

Every day is a new day. I’m kinda beginning to look forward to what could and will be. Some point in time I have to make a plan, but that’s when I have enough headspace. And time! Its busy here with good things that are just taking time. It’ll be busier as time moves on and then slower and then busier as different seasons come and go. Ebb and flow.

I wonder how disjointed this all is. Or if it all flows. Sometimes it’d be good if I reread what I wrote.

I’m grateful I have this space. To journal. To be. I don’t give it to myself at the moment so I’m really grateful I can and am here.

I’m feeling a bit bad that I haven’t been following others blogs at the moment. And, just saying that I do care. That I think about you. That I wish I were fully following. And that when I can I will be. When I can just be. Which, it seems more and more doable, and if it continues this way, it will be doable, coz I’ll actually be there.

Some day I’m going to have to deal with what triggered or lies behind the past couple of months I don’t know what does and I’m not sure if I want to know. One day I do want to for unless I deal with it, it’ll stay there and rule my life. But that isn’t today. So I don’t need to worry about it now. And, yeah. Thanks for listening :).

Love, light and glitter


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