I'm thinking about this. About password protecting my last posts. Because they're on the darker side and that's not what my blog is meant to be about. I don't care for my sake if they're up. I posted them, and it helped me to write, and you people here have been invaluable. Thank you for…
Today’s thoughts/update
This is more of an update for myself. I want to figure out a way forward. I don't know what that looks like or would look like. I am still using. Living with ED. I don't count SH for it's not constant but random so in my mind I'm not. Also because if it doesn't…
How do you identify yourself?
Just a thought. Trying to clarify this in my mind. There's a lot of darkness. There's a lot of negativity. Some of the choices I'm making really are not the best. However, and this is a big point, I get to choose what I identify with. How I identify myself. What choices define me and…
Protected: 58720
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58720 – Do I want therapy?
So, I spoke this woman. She seemed nice. For a referral from a year or so ago. I don't know if I want therapy. I don't know what I want. I know that I should be open to the messages the universe sends to me. It, and the next couple appointments are just assessing to…
Can one recover from an Eating Disorder
What does recovery look like?
So many people view recovery as complete abstinence from whatever it is (too many things to list) for life. Although for now that is how it is for me, I need the complete abstinence for else I’ll mess up, I believe it doesn’t have to be that way. I believe recovery means that it’s no longer a part of your life. That it’s a non issue.
What do you think?
Thank you S.S for writing and sharing this. I really appreciate it! For proving that it can be done.
Recovery IS possible.
So long as there’s life, there’s hope.
This post is for Eliza following her request earlier today. Check out her blog https://elizajourneythroughlife.home.blog/.
I’ve written a number of posts about living with and overcoming from an eating disorder. Today I want to talk about living in recovery. I’ve been recovered for about 10 years now. It’s different in so many ways. One of them is having the ability to actively choose to self-soothe with food without going in a full relapse.
Shortly after my mother died I had a stressful day that pushed me to my emotional limits. Grief, stress, and worry weighed on me. One of those days where everything goes wrong and nothing helps relieve it. I’d used every coping skill in my arsenal. I thought about how much I just wanted a piece of cake. I went through the mental gymnastics of how it wouldn’t really make it better and all the reasons why…
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24985 – rambling update. (Could be triggering.)
The world is a good place. I feel guilty. A friend needed help I couldn't give. So I didn't give it to her. I could have gone beyond myself. I didn't. She called an acquaintance of hers who stepped in and arranged do much for her. I couldn't have done what this acquaintance did. I…
Who serves whom?
Just a thought. If I use (applies to self harm, ED, anything), who is serving who? Is using serving me, or am I serving using? Really, in my head it goes Do I serve (at the alter of) using, or is using serving me? I find that thought quite sobering. I mean figuratively, but literally,…
Will acknowledging what I want make it worse?
Someone wrote something to me along these lines and it reminded me of all the times I've wondered if I should accept what I want. There's an inherent problem with accepting what you want (or what happened, a situation, what you feel et al,), for acceptance requires complete awareness of what is. There's no way…
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Journey to life 