I haven’t messed up this week at all. No burning. No cocodamol to help me burn. Which, I was every day/evening until now. I don’t want to jinx it. I’m not committing to anything, but, I like it this way. It means sleeping less – not been sleeping well, and at some point I have to deal with everything else and why – what lies behind it all. I’m grateful for this. Especially coz there is so much going on and I’m grateful that I can be present.
Arranged for dermatology appointment on Monday. Kinda nervous for it coz of all the scars. Because they aren’t scars yet since they’re not healed. I wish it were my legs then it wouldn’t be seen… passed experience at these services before means it will be seen and I really don’t want it. Not sure what I can do…
Ps. The title has no connection, just wasn’t sure what to title this.
This is a question for anyone who has ever used or engaged with anything negative that they’ve stopped or want to.
If you don’t mind sharing I’d love to hear, what are your reasons? I’m choosing self harm for the title for that’s what I want to do now. Not like I haven’t been until now, but I want to do arbitrarily crosses that line (the line is anything that marks counts). I can’t actually see any reason not to, especially because of all I anyways do.
I’ve so much to ramble, but not for this post.
What are your reasons? Only if you’re comfortable sharing.
What do you answer when people ask you what your scars are from? I came across this list here, I was laughing through it. Don’t worry about it. Because of me, they now have a warning label… “Oh, these?” *embarrassed face* “I know they look horrible, but the sex was INCREDIBLE!” …. The voices told me to do it…. I was walking into town and the aliens came down and started to battle with me…..
She just wants to be beautiful She goes unnoticed, she knows no limits She craves attention, she praises an image She prays to be sculpted by the sculptor Oh, she don’t see the light that’s shining Deeper than the eyes can find it Maybe we have made her blind So she tries to cover up her pain and cut her woes away ‘Cause cover girls don’t cry after their face is made
But there’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are And you don’t have to change a thing, the world could change its heart No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful Oh-oh, oh-oh And you don’t have to change a thing, the world could change its heart No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful
She has dreams to be an envy, so she’s starving You know, covergirls eat nothing She says beauty is pain and there’s beauty in everything What’s a little bit of hunger? I could go a little while longer, she fades away She don’t see her perfect, she don’t understand she’s worth it Or that beauty goes deeper than the surface Oh, oh So to all the girls that’s hurting Let me be your mirror, help you see a little bit clearer The light that shines within
There’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are And you don’t have to change a thing, the world could change its heart No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful
Oh-oh, oh-oh And you don’t have to change a thing, the world could change its heart No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful
No better you than the you that you are (no better you than the you that you are) No better life than the life we’re living (no better life than the life we’re living) No better time for your shine, you’re a star (no better time for your shine, you’re a star) Oh, you’re beautiful, oh, you’re beautiful
And there’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are And you don’t have to change a thing, the world could change its heart No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful Oh-oh, oh-oh And you don’t have to change a thing, the world could change its heart No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful
I love this song. It makes it positive. Scars. In a sense. I don’t love the entire song for it’s way too religious for my liking (Mandisa is a Christian singer), yet I listen to it over and over.
These quotes are what the song means to me. So even though I don’t like the religious aspect of it, I love the song.
Lyrics
These scars aren’t pretty But they’re a part of me And will not ever fade away These marks tell a story Of me down in the valley And how You reached in with Your grace And healed me
They remind me of Your faithfulness And all You brought me through They teach me that my brokenness Is something You can use They show me where I’ve been And that I’m not there any more That’s what scars, that’s what scars are for What scars are for
Erase, rewind Wish I could every time The hurt, the pain cuts so deep But when I’m weak You’re strong, and in Your power I can carry on And my scars say that You won’t ever leave
They remind me of Your faithfulness And all You brought me through They teach me that my brokenness Is something You can use They show me where I’ve been And that I’m not there any more That’s what scars, that’s what scars are for
I see it …. Scars can change the world Scars can set me free
They remind me of Your faithfulness And all You brought me through They teach me that my brokenness Is something You can use They show me where I’ve been And that I’m not there any more That’s what scars, that’s what scars You show me that’s what scars are for What scars are for yeah What scars are for (What scars are for)
Journey to life 