Dialogue with myself re self harm

I wrote this out last night (including these bracketed annotations that explain all that I mean), and it got deleted (thanks wordpress), so I'm writing it out again. I wrote to myself which didn't help at all, so decided to try this. Eliza, what is going on? I want to burn myself So why aren't…

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Thinking about using.

Why did I use? To destroy myself. I had to get rid of myself and the way to do so was through playing with the edge. Why did I escape? Because of the guilt. I escaped with everything and anything. A lot innocuous. I never lived in the world. I was never present. Coz of…