This was meant to be a letter from the younger E, to the E I am today. I wrote it after Imi Lo's journal prompt in her book Emotional sensitivity and intensity. (I'd definitely recommend the book). Sometimes mixed up. Dear E Life is a journey that isn't always going to be easy. You're going…
I’m tired.
Journaling 103 (6) What do I need in order for it to change?
I dialogue journalled last night for at least a couple hours. There's both what I need in order to stop, and what I need or needs to change so that I don't need the destruction. In order to stop I just need support. What that would look like is people checking in with me. Believing…
Dialogue with myself about Hope and Destruction
19th July 2020 E, who is running the show?Life, I think.What does 'Life' look like?Not Life. Hope is.What does 'Hope' look like?Not like Destruction. What does Destruction look like?I can't see because it is so all encompassing that it is everything so not possible to define it.What does Hope want?Love.Can you give Hope Love?No. I…
Random.
So on edge. Shabbat soon. Went for a drive. It helped whilst I was driving. Trying to consciously breathe properly. It doesn't actually help at all. It helped when I was on the phone yesterday and someone else was talking. I don't want to journal because I know that if I do I'll most probably…
Rambling 98673
I'm wondering if it was my imagination that I was okay. Took cocodamol and if I wasn't cutting off I would be scaring myself. I'm not crossing into the danger zone as of now but way too close for my liking. It wasn't meant to be this way. I thought that was it with self…
Random ramblings 89. Part 2 (teaching)
The number 89 is arbitrary. Just the number I chose on. I always title my random ramblings with numbers. Like 27615, 289201, 58217. I could find them all, but.... ya know. Change. Life is full of change. And I'm seeing the change. I'm seeing the positive. Yet. Yet. Yet. I guess this is why I…
Random ramblings 89. Part 1
I don't really know what I want this post to be about. Or what it will be about. Hence the title. My world is a pretty weird place at the moment. And there is a knock on the door. But I'm not sure who is there. I'll go see if it's someone I'm happy to…
Thursday’s here
I began writing a post yesterday about how food is too much of an issue for my liking. It's not actually that food is anymore of an issue than it always has been, rather that I hate this part, where I'm not eating and have to force myself to eat. I know it'll pass. Just…
Journey to life 