Suicide. It's a word that scares many and brings hope to others. I started my blog elizareasonstolive (which for now is down) when I wanted to focus on the reasons to live, rather than reasons to die. I would post reasons to live, at the same time as doing things to end my life. I…
I wish I could have told you this before you killed yourself
I wrote this in January 2019 Today's been, long. A 16 year old here ended her life yesterday. It makes me sad for her. Sad for she had an entire life to live. In some sense jealous that she isn't here. Guilt for wanting that. Grateful to be here. Sad for her family, for all…
Sending some sunshine – you matter!
https://www.openme.com/builder/view/4ffa0ee795c4dbada1a1fcb7761e8611/open You bring light and joy into my life by being here... Thanks for joining me on this journey.... Love, light, and glitter Dear Friend, YOU MATTER.
Gratitude challenge: Day 14
Day 14: What recent challenge are you grateful for? I'm grateful for the last time I messed up - a few months ago. I'm grateful because of all it taught me. I'm grateful because seeing what it was like for me then, using to burn and burning, actually showed me how far I'd come. Everything…
Quote for the day – appreciate how far you have come
A friend posted this quote on her whatsapp status Remember to appreciate how far you have come. There is little point in us striving for growth if we can't value our progress. So I looked up some more of the same... I find the quote/saying very apropos for today, for always. It's hard to see.…
Dialogue with myself re self harm
I wrote this out last night (including these bracketed annotations that explain all that I mean), and it got deleted (thanks wordpress), so I'm writing it out again. I wrote to myself which didn't help at all, so decided to try this. Eliza, what is going on? I want to burn myself So why aren't…
TW. Rambling 37915
There's nothing thereThey don't understand thatThere really isNothing. There. Nothingness.It's as though I'm watchingMyselfObservingFrom the viewing tower Disconnect? CheckDistance? CheckConnection? NopePresent? Maybe There is nothing there I can't get throughThe glass wallI don't knowI don't know what is thereI don't know what is there Sometimes I wonderIf there is anything at allI'm scared I'll come…
What are the first 4 words that you see?
Dr Perry posted this and I loved it - I just think it's cool What are the first 4 words that you see? Love, light and glitter Eliza
Dialogue with myself (Trigger warning – self harm)
Why did you buy cocodamol? I want it. (Stamps imaginary foot in head) You're allowed to want it I'm not. You're allowed to want everything E. Literally everything. I'm not E, you're allowed to want everything. I can't. What can’t you? Be. Okay. You can though. Not. Am I going to change your mind? You can’t. It’s…
Today’s a good day
Today is a new day. I haven't written anything on my blog in a while, for I'm just never sure what to write. There is too much and I always feel like I'm incoherent. Regarding working through what I believe I've decided to go ahead with it. It was interesting, I was reading through my…
Journey to life 