I'm wondering if it was my imagination that I was okay. Took cocodamol and if I wasn't cutting off I would be scaring myself. I'm not crossing into the danger zone as of now but way too close for my liking. It wasn't meant to be this way. I thought that was it with self…
TW: Thinking about the thoughts of using.
Trigger warning. Please do not read this if it could trigger or disrupt you in any way. I was thinking. About how much I think about using cocodamol. Just a few. Just to see if it helps. I liked bgddyjim's post. It got me thinking. How using, which I think of so often, even just…
TW. Rambling 37915
There's nothing thereThey don't understand thatThere really isNothing. There. Nothingness.It's as though I'm watchingMyselfObservingFrom the viewing tower Disconnect? CheckDistance? CheckConnection? NopePresent? Maybe There is nothing there I can't get throughThe glass wallI don't knowI don't know what is thereI don't know what is there Sometimes I wonderIf there is anything at allI'm scared I'll come…
Thinking about using.
Why did I use? To destroy myself. I had to get rid of myself and the way to do so was through playing with the edge. Why did I escape? Because of the guilt. I escaped with everything and anything. A lot innocuous. I never lived in the world. I was never present. Coz of…
Thinking about….
I really should journal. But writing on my blog helps me to focus more, stay on topic slightly more. I'm flying and flit from thing to thing in the best of times. Which I'm sure everyone reading this knows. It's that time of month. And it's hurting. A lot. I want to use some cocodamol…
Random 273
Tried to sleep but was thinking and shaking so was up. I'm not sure if I should really post this. I'm stupid. Still shaking after an hour plus. It gets annoying when it goes on and there's no discernable cause. So I went onto my private diary to write about it for tired of whinging…
How do you identify yourself?
I'm on my phone so this will be short. A few years back, I was telling someone how much I hated what I did, that why bother doing xyz if I anyways wasn't doing ABC. He replied with the following a few times (whenever it came up). Identify with whatever you wish. You get to…
.
I don't have anything to write. It doesn't help that I understand what is going on and why, it doesn't make it easier. I just want it to stop. And I can't stop it. I can't make myself believe I'm worth it, however much I know it. I can't change what my life was or…
Journey to life 