My Cronavirus experience/thoughts

I just read an article on Aish.com that explains why positive and inspirational messages can be detrimental to some people. I loved it… you can read it here.

It made me think of my experience. How I’m doing more things than I was and how this time is so good for me in so many ways.

I put the article first because I don’t want anyone to think that because it’s good for me it has to be good for them…

There’s a few points. One great point was made my S to me recently. She asked me how I was handling it. She said Covid 19 has tipped the world upside down. There are people whose lives were always organised and ordered. They felt like they were in control. Now they are faced with their frailty. They’re faced with instability and a lack of control. However, there are people whose lives are a mess anyways. Who never felt safe within themselves or the world. Their internal world is always upside down. The world turning on its’ hinges might make it even worse – as it has for so many people- and it might not.

There is more calm and stability in my life because of Covid 19, not less. I’ve not been working which means I have so much more time. The time is good for me because it gives me space. I never realised how much pressure I found work to be, but I did. There’s the need to constantly be on the ball, constantly be present, constantly work to help the children. Anything less would be shortchanging the children I work with. I didn’t find the morning such a pressure as so many of my lessons were free lessons. Now that I’m not working I don’t have that pressure.

There was also the pressure, more the anxiety and intensity, of bring around people for so many hours a day. I’m an introvert both by nature and even more so by nurture. I’m awkward around people. Even if they don’t see it. I’m not a part of groups and don’t know how to be a part. It’s not that I always want to, I don’t, I just want the option to be. Now that I’m not at work I don’t ever walk into a staffroom full of people who are all groups that I’m not a part of. I don’t have the constant intensity of being around others.

All the time means I’m blogging more – neither good nor bad. Means I’m online a lot more, not necessarily good, but neither bad. I wish I’d be able to get myself to study more but I’m just not, and that’s okay.

I’m running, couch to 5k, which is amazing for me. I’m so glad I am.

Just been busy. Doing nothing much. I’ve been scrapbooking the last couple of days – something that was left to me, which was good, just crazy busy! But busy with good things.

S said another interesting point, that the energy of the world was unsettlement and pain. She seemed to think it made sense I’d stopped eating. It’s actually good for me in a sense. However unhealthy a coping mechanism it may be it’s giving me the ability to handle the world.

People are stressed around me. I don’t think it’s anything to do with the virus, just their personal life circumstances. Although for some the virus definitely is exacerbating what is going on. I’m trying to keep my emotional boundaries.

For the most part I’m loving the lockdown and the time it has given to me. I hope and pray I don’t start school anytime soon although it seems like the government are set to start on the 1st. I hope my school don’t. I honestly can’t face it….. and if I go into school for the afternoon I’ll be wanted in the morning too. I’m not working in the morning although some people are. All I can do is hope and pray that I don’t have to go back anytime soon and love this whilst it lasts (with shavuot this weekend I anyways don’t have school for the next week. If not for the virus I’d probably be away with my family). It’s the time I love. The time, space, and no pressure….

I hope you are all doing okay and looking after yourself in the best way possible…

How has the lockdown – the time it brings, not the rest of the lockdown – affected you? Do you appreciate not having to see others or do you miss people? Do you have more or less time/headspace?

You are awesome and enough.

Love, light, and glitter

Coronavirus quotes 15

Always forgive others, not necessarily because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace of mind.
If we unite nobody falls

This one really deserves a post on it’s own. Which is why the post is so short.

Calculate your next travel destination.

Love, light and glitter

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Coronavirus quotes 14

It’s been such a joy being home with my wife the past 3 weeks. We’ve caught up on all the things I’ve done wrong in the past 30 years.
2020 in one sentence. A roll of toilet paper is worth more than a barrel of oil.
Dog asks: why are all the humans wearing muzzles? Did they all bite someone?
When we come out of this and I ask where you want to eat I do not want to hear ‘I don’t know’. You had 45 days!
Avoid touching men to spread the virus (mouth, eye, nose). Follow women to prevent the virus (wash your hands with soap, obey social distancing, mask to be used properly, exercise regularly, never ignore above four lines).
Ok everyone, how do you catch the Coronavirus? By being around someone who has it. Correct, so what should you do to avoid getting sick? Buy all the toilet paper…
Day 35 of quarantine: went outside today and it was so nice to feel the breeze blowing through my leg hair.
How often does one need to change ones sweatpants poll. 5 percent say every day. 13 percent say every 2 days. 53 percent say nothing matters anymore. 23 percent ask what are pants? Out of 32 thousand 216 votes.
When the covid 19 horror is over and we go back to our Norma lives never forget that during the crisis we were not desperate for lawyers, actors athletes or reality tv stars. We needed teachers, doctors, nurses, shop workers, delivery drivers and countless others who we usually take for granted.
Day 35 of quarantine… can you blink a little more quietly please?

I’d love to see your favourite memes/quotes…

Love, light and glitter

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sharing ventilator blueprints, Toilet paper kindness

May your Wednesday be filled with love, light, and sparkle.

Coronavirus quotes 13

A pair of dogs advertising. Needed: new home for bonded pair. House broken and good with kids and other dogs. We never thought we’d be doing this especially during quarantine but it just isn’t working out. They interrupt our naps to go on walks and stop us from yelling at squirrels! Anyone interested in two annoying humans?!
Quarantined without my cleaning lady has been purhell
Peace of mind comes when you stop expecting and start accepting
In this country you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money you get the power. Then when you get the power you get the toilet paper!
The drop in gas prices during a stay at home order is like a bald man winning a comb.
Breaking news. Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to prevent covid 19 but to stop eating.
The spread of Coronavirus is based on 2 factors. 1. How dense the population is. 2. How dense the population is.
‘Stop eating out. Cook at home and you’ll lose weight.’ Quarantine determined that was a lie.
Wife: Did I get fat during quarantine? Husband: You were never really skinny. Time of death: 4/25/20 11.23pm. Cause of death: Coronavirus.
I don’t want to alarm anyone but apparently there comes a point when you can’t fit into your pyjamas either…

Love, light and glitter

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Coronavirus quotes 12

A soft reminder by Lisa Olivera. We are currently going through a collective traumatic experience. Trauma is often thought of as ‘too much, too fast’ which is exactly what is happening. Of course you’re exhausted. Of course you’re afraid. Of course you’re overwhelmed. Of course you’re clinging to certainty in the midst of so much unknown. Of course you aren’t as productive, feeling foggy, or wondering how you can possibly go through so many waves of emotion all in the same day. This all makes so much sense in the context of our circumstances. Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself grace. You are good, no matter how you are managing this completely new experience.

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Please share your favourite memes/quotes!

Love, light, and glitter

May your Wednesday be filled with love, light and sparkle.

Coronavirus quotes 11 – what day is it today?

To everyone who is currently in quarantine, sitting with your thoughts all day, be kind to yourself and hold on. This world needs you.

I’d love to see your quotes/memes 🙂

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Love, light and glitter

Working. Do I come first???

I was asked today about coming into school one day a week for a couple of hours – maybe more but hopefully just that.

She told me to think about it. To see whether it is something I can do. I said I didn’t see a choice if the dr says it’s medically okay (I’d have to ask my GP). She told me of course it’s a choice. She has to ask me because as her job she was told to. I should discuss it with whoever I need to and let her know. She said she knows she wouldn’t handle the anxiety of going in. I hadn’t even thought about that.

It was just, interesting. She said to remember that my family and I come first, the children in school second.

I appreciate her telling me that. I didn’t think of it. I don’t know if it is even possible for me to think that way. To me it was a no brainer. I’m being asked to come in. I’m employed by the school. The children need a teacher. If my GP thinks there’s no health risks then regardless of what I want (I do not want to go to school!) I’ve got to go. And here she tells me that i come first… that others have refused to, or couldn’t come in (not teachers – they hadn’t been asked yet).

I don’t honestly believe I come first. It’s really hard for me to think that way and I definitely don’t instinctively think so. Which is why it was so nice – and important- of her to say so. If I ask my GP I imagine he’ll say it’s safe. I’d I ask my rabbi I imagine he’d say not to.

Re the anxiety of going in, I have no way of knowing what will be. Before schools were all closed I took off some mornings work because I was freaking and panicking. Afternoons were somehow okay. I don’t know, can’t think, what it will be like. I really have no idea. Of course, if I go in, and then panic, it’s a no brainer that I wouldn’t go back. Well, now it’s a no brainer. I think.

Do I come first? I don’t honestly believe so. But I’m going to try and act as if it’s so.

Do you believe you come first?

Remember, you, and the people who depend on you (family et al) come first!

Love, light, and glitter

Edit: I’m trying to breathe slowly and stem the panic. I am okay. Telling myself that, and it’s the truth. The panic can come from both – who comes first, or anxiety about going back. Not sure if I am anxious about it. It makes no difference what from just what I do about it.