Reblog: Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks on difference

The test of faith is whether I can make space for difference. Can I recognize God’s image in someone who is not in my image, whose language, faith, ideal, are different from mine? If I cannot, then I have made God in my image – Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks zt”l, 1948-2020

Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks on difference

Thanks for sharing this!

I love this quote. It bothers me a lot when people judge others and don’t accept them. Be whomever you want to be. And accept others. If you believe in any consciousness or source of the universe you’ll believe we’re all the same energy. We’re all one. No matter the differences.

Rest in peace. Baruch Dayan Haemet.

MBSR (7)

I don’t know how much sense this is going to make since there’s so much flying around my head and I’m writing this just to get it down and give me some space. Funny, usually I’d give myself time to absorb things.

I didn’t write out the rest of week 4 – I had 3 or 4 posts on it. Or anything for week 5. And now we just finished week 6. I didn’t actually think I’d go on to the call today.

A couple days ago when I was trying to do a practice I found it very untethering so I stopped. I did a short practice the next morning but nothing more that day. Knowing how much of a mess my head has been the past week I knew that if I found it destabilising I just wouldn’t do it.

Mindfulness. So I’m really careful to call it mindfulness practice not meditation for mindfulness and meditation are 2 different things.

I’d still like to share last weeks overview. Either I will or I won’t. Today was week 6. Only 2 more weeks.

I told my friends to sign up. I’ve 2 good friends here. Both signed up. Depends on timings if they can do it. If they can I’d love to do it again with them.

I spoke today! Week 6 and the second time I spoke. This time right away I prefaced what I said with – please don’t ask anything on what I say. I did freak out afterwards, but nowhere near to the same extent as in week 4. Week 4 I spoke, and was freaking the rest of the time. Today I was able to calm myself down much faster. My heart rate was seriously amped up (courtesy of my smart watch I bought for running when I can’t run…. my heart rate is way higher than it used to be. I’m eating now. It’ll be interesting to see if it goes down. Also less dizzy so wondering if I’ll be able to take up running again).

Today the focus was on self compassion. I’m such a mixture. As I said in my last post (not an MBSR one) I’ve stopped saying I hate myself.

Something I’ve been doing a lot and have found really helpful is holding my hand to my neck. There’s definitely a term for it. If I ever google it (just after writing this?) I’ll write more.

The first discussion was on what you’d say to a friend having it rough, and what you’d say to yourself. I thought about my friend whose life is chaotic. All my friends lives are at the moment. It’s a bit draining. So yesterday I told M I’m here for her and love her. This is when I shared my thoughts. That I’d say that to someone else. That with myself there is the gap between where I am – self hatred and guilt, and where I want to be. That I write to myself (all the Letters to myself – a few are up here. Some day I’ll copy out some more) and I tell myself the same thing. That I’m here for myself no matter what. No matter what I do I’ll always love myself. And that I’m finding that sometimes in life or journaling I’m saying it to myself. Am more gentle with myself. I think I said less words than that. And I freaked. The next people sharing referenced what I said but I have no clue what I said because as soon as they said E, it was too much and I couldn’t focus. Just don’t talk about me!

We did a loving kindness practice next which really also was a bit much. The practice is 3 parts which is cool. First bring to mind someone you love and who you feel only good things towards. Could be a person or animal. Imagine yourself wishing them well. May you be at peace for example. A few wishes. Then put yourself with the person. May we be at peace. Then at bye to the person and may I be at peace.

I imagined NN. He is heaven and charming. That part was easy (I feel myself slowing down now which I’m grateful for). I imagined my wishes for his peace, joy and happiness to be blankets I was wrapping around him. I’m not visual but it worked. R, the person talking, suggested we imagine our wishes as pebbles in water rippling but wrapping blankets gives more protection. During every pause I added my own wishes.

Then we were told to add ourselves into it. That was much harder. I put NN on my lap and wrapped both of us in blankets of safety, love, compassion.

Then take away NN. Found that last part really hard. I first did it imagining me wrapping it around someone else who’s me but then wrapped it around myself sitting as I was there. By that time I put both my hands on my neck in almost a circle. When the practice finished I was shaking away. So when we had a break I did a 3 space grounding and did the hoop for a few minutes. To ground myself. That’s also why I’m writing this now. Though I’m not thinking about anything I’m saying. I’m slowing down.

WordPress is being glitchy and deleting my words a lot. I hope it’s not added back any it has deleted or deleted too much as then this really won’t make sense.

After the break he wanted us to write down what we would wish ourselves. I’d been doing that throughout the spaces in the practice as else I’d he everywhere but there. I know what I’d wish myself. Safety. Self love. Self compassion. Self acceptance. Connection. Peace. Serenity. Okayness. Notice I’m not saying a lack of self destruction for that will automatically change.

I didn’t engage much for I knew it was too much. Nor with the practice after because it was the third part of the self compassion and I was already shaky. Not going to do anything to make it worse (makes me laugh as I write this. How I live with such self destruction AND such self acceptance and compassion. I definitely accept my freaking about speaking. A few times I had what to say and didn’t. And this acceptance is natural because I didn’t expect myself to be unable to speak…

The last thing was asking us how we practice self care. I realised that I more practice self soothing then self care. I’ve plenty of distractions that wire me down – like writing this, but much less that are looking after myself how do I look after myself? Maybe through my gratitude journal – I’m up nearly 1500 (different gratitudes). Writing to myself – I use it more to access the part of me that loves myself more than to calm down. When I’m freaking out I tune out as soon as I engage with it so writing doesn’t work. Distraction does. I feel like my entire world at the moment is a distraction rather than prevention. Through journaling and practicing mindfulness every morning which is what I’m aiming to do.

Anyways. That was week 6. The practice this week is to do the 3 stage breathing space 3 times a day. If I’m keeping Judaism I can’t but on Monday to Wednesday I can. And the loving kindness practice once. Again I can on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday.

I’d love to do the course again.

With Rosh Hashanah – the Jewish new year – tomorrow night, I’m not sure what the next few days will be. I haven’t been sleeping much. The days have been a mixture between up and down constantly. I’m glad to have the weekend now and no school for a few days.

I’ve written in the first or second post the biggest thing this course is giving to me. That is that I’m tuning in much more to where I am and grounding myself a lot more. It could be less self destruction has to do with that, I wouldn’t know. It’s also interesting to see that I still hate the body scan practice. I tried it nearly every day for 5 weeks. I like mindfulness of breath practices – find them grounding. Body and breath, or thought, I have found to be awesome or untethering depending on where my headspace was. I’ve been getting up earlier to do it for a few minutes. I want to get up earlier still to have time to journal and do half hour mindfulness practice if I want to after that. (Definitely better after journaling).

Signing off for real this time.

I’d love to hear how you’re all doing… if you don’t mind to drop a note and tell me…

Kesiva vechatima tovah – may your year be rolled with blessings and goodness.

Sunday Sunshine and Sparkles – Note in a caravan

MBSR (5) Striving vs Accepting. Where both are true.

Striving. Aiming for somewhere. Accepting. Accepting yourself and where you’re at.

This has been playing around in my head today since they said a day ago that mindfulness means non striving. I began writing about it in my previous post about the class. If I could have actually said it then, I would’ve.

Mindfulness means being present. Accepting your reality. And that can include planning where you want to be and aiming for that place. The AND.

Being that this is an MBSR post, a current example for me during the last 3 MBSR zoom classes is: I accept my social anxiety. Who knew I had social anxiety? I didn’t! Well, I did to an extent. I accept that I find it really hard to share despite every other person in the group sharing. I thought I would share. AND I hope that one day I will share. (As I wrote I actually tried to and wasnt heard – yay me for trying). I would really like to share, just to be able to and I hope that during the next 5 weeks I will. Both striving and accepting. The AND and the BOTH. For both are true. I can strive. I can aim for somewhere. At the same time I can fully accept where I’m at.

I can look at my life at the moment as another example. If I didn’t aim anywhere I wouldn’t be doing this mindfulness course, and I’d probably be dead rather than writing this. Does that mean I don’t accept myself? Well, I don’t accept where I’m at but that’s besides the point. I’m trying to accept where I’m at. I’m trying to love myself no matter what destruction I’m living with. And I’m striving – to use the words in the course. I’m aiming for a life without destruction. They are both true.

I love this gals posts on the topic.

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MBSR zoom class 3

Mindfulness and grounding

Mindfulness- Primary and Secondary experiences

MBSR course Thoughts, 1

MBSR (2) – Primary and Secondary Experiences

Mindfulness attitudes - Beginner’s Mind or Curiosity, Patience, Non-judging, Non-striving, Kindness and Compassion towards ourselves and others, Trust, Acceptance or Allowing, Letting Go 

I don’t think I’ll write this well but wanted to put this down for someone here.

Random thought. Mindfulness reminds me a lot of Innate Health. Of just being.

Reminder of mindfulness attitudes

• Beginners mind – curiosity
• Not judging
• Patience
• Non striving – don’t stress too much – have a goal but don’t put too much pressure/time frame
• Kindness and compassion to self and others.
• Trust in the process and yourself.
• Acceptance and allowing – letting whatever you experience be, and accept it. It just is.
• Letting go. Being in the moment. Letting things be as they are.

There are our primary experiences. Our secondary experiences. And tertiary experiences. Going on and on.

The primary experience is what actually happened. In the mindfulness class they gave the example of being stuck in a traffic jam. The secondary experience which they called everything is how you react to that. The tertiary experience would be the reaction to the reaction – I know they didn’t say it but I think it’s true. And we can go on and on. I just don’t know the name for number 4 which is why I’m not saying fourthery…

There are 3 ways we experience things

  1. Physically/somatically – in our bodies
  2. Mentally – in our heads (thoughts)
  3. Emotionally – our feelings.

These are all secondary to what happened.

Primary – I’m stuck in a traffic jam 》 secondary – I may panic (physically) I’m going to be late, and/or wonder what everyone will think of me (mentally), and/or be angry I’m stuck (emotionally). 》Tertiary – I may feel guilty for being angry. I may think I shouldn’t care. I may judge myself for whatever my reactions are…..

I didn’t sleep all night and I’m exhausted the next day which gives me much less headspace for people.

That’s what happened. Those are the facts. Usually I may get frustrated and upset and blame myself or shut down.

The point of mindfulness is just to be aware. To identify the actual experience. To identify the response. To identify after that.

If I’m aware of what the actual experience is, I can stop the spiral. For me that’s the thought spiral as I don’t feel much or really experience anything much in my body.

I’m late for work.

The fact is I’m late for work. It happens to all of us. I could panic. I could know that I’ll be fired because I was late. I could judge myself for being s bad teacher. I could break down in tears.

I could then also react to my reaction. If someone made me late and I yelled at them I could hate myself for that.

Or I could pause. Either in the middle or afterwards. And see, okay I was late for the work. If I notice it there. Or see that I was late for work and yelled. I was late for work and cried. I was late for work and panicked. Whatever the experience was, was.

The best example I can think of is the thought spiral I entered when I knew my period was going to start in a couple days, and that lead to the surety that I’d be dead through suicide. When I was aware of the entire spiral I actually found it funny. Because c’mon. I have my period every month (or not). We all do (or not). I found it humourous to see how that my period was going to start had translated to I’m going to kill myself. Following and identifying the thought cycle that had lead there was eye opening. Not exactly on primary and secondary experiences, but on topic.

Sunday Sunshine – What makes us different?

I just watched this awesome video from Brielle. An 8 year old girl (SG you’ll love her) who shares her thoughts on our differences.

I’m not sure to insert a link that will play the video here.

Enjoy it! And let’s celebrate our similarities. Rather than be afraid of inane differences.

You are awesome and beautiful just the way you are.

Love, light, and glitter

Do you think I should title these posts Sunday Sunshine or Sunday Smiles? Or Sunday Sunshine and Sparkles. Or Sunday Sparkles is another option too, come to think of it.

Tone-Deaf? Acceptance of others- reblog

I don’t usually just reblog posts but the message here is timely and gorgeous. We’re all part of one whole….

Just as a literally tone–deaf person is unable to comprehend the differences between musical notes, a metaphorically tone–deaf person is unable to comprehend the different facets/nuances of a given situation. A statement such a person makes might also be described as tone–deaf. Jun 12, 2014 If you were fortunate enough to be raised with music you understand this title […]


Will acknowledging what I want make it worse?

Someone wrote something to me along these lines and it reminded me of all the times I’ve wondered if I should accept what I want.

There’s an inherent problem with accepting what you want (or what happened, a situation, what you feel et al,), for acceptance requires complete awareness of what is. There’s no way to accept something without knowing all the nuances.

I had an analogy that helped me to explain what I mean. I wake up at night and I’m scared that there is a monster under my bed. So either I can huddle under the covers and hide, or I can look under my bed. If I look under the bed there’s another 2 options. Either I will find that the monster is just a bit of fluff, or the monster, upon seeing me, will drag me under the bed and I’ll have to fight it. Either it’s stronger than me and will win, or I will win.

What happens to the monster under my bed? Hiding is the safest option. I won’t know what is there or what it looks like. Facing it is the better option. But what if it eats me? Maybe there’s a way to create a battle plan. Maybe I can look under the bed dressed in armour. Maybe someone can be on my bed and hold onto me whilst I peek so that if it’s too big for me the person will rescue me and we’ll create a battle plan.

The problem with acceptance and/or letting go is that first we have to face whatever it is that we need to accept/let go of. Be that guilt, addiction, anger, demons in the head, or anything is.

My life really demonstrates that. One of the things I found really hard was that I didn’t ever want to do anything but was just doing it. I never had the choice not to purge, not to self harm, because I only knew that I wanted to because I found myself doing it. I couldn’t choose a different option. To choose another path I had to be aware first of what was going on.

Or take the same principle with guilt. I knew I was guilty for living. There was no way for me to let go of the guilt for I didn’t know where it came from. To let go of it I first had to know why I was guilty, I first had to face the 9 year old Eliza and see what was and let her know it wasn’t her fault. I had to accept the guilt. The only way to do that was through facing it.

There is no way to accept or let go of something if you don’t know what the something is or looks like.

Will acknowledging what I want/feel make it worse?

The problem with acknowledging it is real. If I think about and face just how much I want to destroy myself maybe I will act on it? Maybe I’ll face it and see it isn’t as real as I thought. Alternately, maybe it IS as real and even more real then I knew for I’m always hiding from the intensity.

Journaling is a tool that has always helped me to work through my life. I actually had this exact question recently. I didn’t realise that until this minute. There is a lot of stuff I need to let go of for holding onto it hinders me. I created a space to write about it for I realised having a space to do that would help since writing helps me let go. The problem was that I was then thinking about it all the time. Which harmed me. Thinking about it constantly just made me angry and resentful. I don’t need to do that. I need to feel and face the resentment to let it go. Not to wallow in it. So I had to stop thinking about it too much, and instead just write about it every so often and use just that time, and writing, to feel it, face it, not wallow in it, in order to let it go.

Making it real is good and bad. Making it real, facing it, means you can accept it and move on. But first you have to be strong enough to do that.

What if really it is too big? One option might be looking at it with an professional and hiding the rest of the time. Another option is accountability. Maybe anyone reading this has more options.

Will acknowledging it make it worse? I think the answer is that it can in the short term, but in the long term it’ll make it better for without facing it there’s no knowing what is there and no way to do anything about it.

What do you think?

Love, light, and glitter

Pesach is a time of freedom. Whether or not you celebrate this time, and however you may celebrate, wishing you all freedom from the internal and external shackles that stop you living the life of your dreams.
Day 5 of sefirat haomer

Coronavirus quotes 7: toilet paper

Sign in toilet paper aisle: Dear shoppers. Due to the recent outbreak of stupidity and panic purchasing by complete idiots, the nation is currently experiencing a shortage of toilet paper and common sense. Expect supplies to be replenished once these sheep minded morons have have all starved to death in their homes surrounded by toilet paper but without anything to it.
Back in my day there was so much toilet paper, people used to literally string it up in the trees of their enemies
Grumpy’s self isolation diary. Day 15. Thanks to the toilet paper shortage I’ve finally found a use for Kale
Everything is going to be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.
If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 24 day quarantine you should probably see a Dr long before Covid 19.
There is light even in the darkest places.
Image for 4 toilet rolls, wipes and hand wash. Looking to trade for 2018 Escalade or $30,000 in cash. Don't snowball me. I know what I have.
Image of nurse with patient. Your covid 19 test can back positive she says. That can't be, he replies, I have more than 300 rolls of toilet paper.
I was going to get you a really nice gift but I spent all the money on toilet paper.
Birthday card I thought of buying
Look how much you’ve already managed to adapt to. Look how resilient you’ve already been. There’s no right way to respond to this because it’s never ever happened before. Give yourself some credit. There’s no one in the whole world who has this figured out yet. So it’s absolutely okay if you don’t either ❤

Covid 19 quotes 6

Covid 19 quotes 5

Covid 19 quotes 4

Covid 19 quotes 3

Covid 19 quotes 2

Covid 19 quotes

Coronavirus – chad gadya

How do different countries react to the corona virus?