Someone on instagram followed me. I have an account where I post gridded pictures of myself- a fun distraction (you can ask for the account link, either I’ll give it to you or I won’t). I don’t really follow anyone there for it’s just a distract E place…

I messaged her to ask if I knew her. She just replied to me with her name…

Remember that person I mentioned from school that I feel like she bullied me though I don’t remember, and feel like she used to get some of my classmates to do the same – I can tell you which classmates, but I have no idea if it’s true or not.

Who said that’s even her name? Who said it’s her? The picture of kids on her profile is too cute. And if it’s her, why on earth would she choose to follow me? And why that account not my photography account?

And and and.

I wish I could cry. I can’t. I wish I could freak out externally. I can’t. The only thing I can probably do is cut off. And. I don’t know. I just don’t know.

And I’d just begun to listen to a gorgeous message from someone describing me, she was making me smile. And this message had the gal to interrupt a message I finally got to listen to that I was excited to hear cuz the person has sunshine in their voice. Which I can’t listen to now. And who said it’s even her???? And and and and. Or as someone often texts me hopmnbillo5ecs247vo07jbxaqw258bkp0yvxdq14tczsdvjipp96hmvd21qadzxvnmmlljhy790ljvdwryckolbdwtuoplknnmbvxzzassdfghjklpoiuytreeqaswedrfthyhujikilpmnjbivyctxrze

Edit. And I feel bad cuz I only use this place to vent and I’m barely here for any of you and it’s not fair of me and and and. Let’s just cut off. Which is easy to do.

26 thoughts on “I don’t know what title

        1. It’ll pass I guess. Just can’t speak. And. Yeah. Thank you…. it means a lot to me that you’ve read and replied when I haven’t been reading or replying to your blog in months…

          Liked by 1 person

  1. Plus, I have to say, it’s swings and roundabouts. You’ve done massive things to change my life for the better and maybe it’s your turn to be on the receiving end for a change. What I’m saying is, please don’t feel bad for feeling like you’re barely there for people at the mo. ❤️
    It’s horrible how something like that can throw you at first. I hope you feel okay about it very soon.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Really, Eliza, did this person provide any information, aside from her “Follow” and her (supposed) name? How annoyingly vague!

    If you don’t mind some advice – and here it comes anyway – I’d focus instead on those who are here for you now. Focus on your reality. For example, concentrate on this friend who cares enough to leave a message which makes you smile, and dream.

    Leave the newcomer, she of the formidable name, in the shadows where she lurks. Your world is one of light and glitter. This mysterious woman clings to a place – the past – which is so not your scene anymore.

    Just for argument’s sake, let us stipulate she is who she claims to be. Fine. What’s her aim, then? To make amends? That’d be my wager. If she wants to step forward into the sunlight, and join your friends, I imagine she’d be welcome, but she has to think of a better way of going about it. You’ll be be here, in the light, listening to messages and smiling.


  3. Gah, I haven’t got any advice. Sorry for not knowing what to say- but I’m still here for you. I’m still wishing that this… grievance leaves as soon as possible. Things like this can be difficult… But they do get better
    stay sticky,


  4. That’s a rough feeling. Like your safe space has been invaded. *hugs*
    Don’t apologize for venting. It’s your blog and you are allowed to use it however you need. Honestly, I’m in something of a venting mood myself these days. It happens.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ouch! That’s such a violating and invasive feeling! And so many memories!! Sending hugs, love and strength. Remember you are amazing!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This seems to have really triggered you, which might mean you’re not in a good space to begin with. I’d focus on changing that first. Why does it matter that she follows you? Do you think she will try to keep on her old games? How would she do that? Maybe she wants to apologize, or is not even aware of any of it and wants to follow only because that’s what people do nowadays – friend/follow anyone they’re ever met.


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