I don’t think I’ll write this well but wanted to put this down for someone here.
Random thought. Mindfulness reminds me a lot of Innate Health. Of just being.
Reminder of mindfulness attitudes
• Beginners mind – curiosity
• Not judging
• Non striving – don’t stress too much – have a goal but don’t put too much pressure/time frame
• Kindness and compassion to self and others.
• Trust in the process and yourself.
• Acceptance and allowing – letting whatever you experience be, and accept it. It just is.
• Letting go. Being in the moment. Letting things be as they are.
There are our primary experiences. Our secondary experiences. And tertiary experiences. Going on and on.
The primary experience is what actually happened. In the mindfulness class they gave the example of being stuck in a traffic jam. The secondary experience which they called everything is how you react to that. The tertiary experience would be the reaction to the reaction – I know they didn’t say it but I think it’s true. And we can go on and on. I just don’t know the name for number 4 which is why I’m not saying fourthery…
There are 3 ways we experience things
- Physically/somatically – in our bodies
- Mentally – in our heads (thoughts)
- Emotionally – our feelings.
These are all secondary to what happened.
Primary – I’m stuck in a traffic jam 》 secondary – I may panic (physically) I’m going to be late, and/or wonder what everyone will think of me (mentally), and/or be angry I’m stuck (emotionally). 》Tertiary – I may feel guilty for being angry. I may think I shouldn’t care. I may judge myself for whatever my reactions are…..
I didn’t sleep all night and I’m exhausted the next day which gives me much less headspace for people.
That’s what happened. Those are the facts. Usually I may get frustrated and upset and blame myself or shut down.
The point of mindfulness is just to be aware. To identify the actual experience. To identify the response. To identify after that.
If I’m aware of what the actual experience is, I can stop the spiral. For me that’s the thought spiral as I don’t feel much or really experience anything much in my body.
I’m late for work.
The fact is I’m late for work. It happens to all of us. I could panic. I could know that I’ll be fired because I was late. I could judge myself for being s bad teacher. I could break down in tears.
I could then also react to my reaction. If someone made me late and I yelled at them I could hate myself for that.
Or I could pause. Either in the middle or afterwards. And see, okay I was late for the work. If I notice it there. Or see that I was late for work and yelled. I was late for work and cried. I was late for work and panicked. Whatever the experience was, was.
The best example I can think of is the thought spiral I entered when I knew my period was going to start in a couple days, and that lead to the surety that I’d be dead through suicide. When I was aware of the entire spiral I actually found it funny. Because c’mon. I have my period every month (or not). We all do (or not). I found it humourous to see how that my period was going to start had translated to I’m going to kill myself. Following and identifying the thought cycle that had lead there was eye opening. Not exactly on primary and secondary experiences, but on topic.