I often would fantasise at night. As in imagine myself in a situation. Not healthy fantasies.
I’ve been listening to ACA meetings – adult children of alcoholics. My parents weren’t alcoholics for the record. I’ve really related to it. The depiction of feelings. Of black and white thinking. Approval. Can go on.
So the last few nights I have been fantasizing, but also trying to instead hug myself for a few seconds. Give myself the love I want and know I don’t deserve/can’t accept.
Going to try write less here, or schedule. Been posting way too much here.