Just a thought.
If I use (applies to self harm, ED, anything), who is serving who?
Is using serving me, or am I serving using?
Really, in my head it goes
Do I serve (at the alter of) using, or is using serving me?
I find that thought quite sobering. I mean figuratively, but literally, too š
Love, light, and glitter
Journey to life 
First, some Comments are being wonky in WP and we found some comments from you in our spam from 8 days ago. we want you to know your comments are so important to us and we would never blow you off. Now we canāt find the comments, so please know we value your words and your perspective and your caring šā¤ļø
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šššš
No worries. Comments are being wonky across the board it seems… I’m glad it’s not just to me š
Thinking of you…
Love, light, and glitter š¦
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I donāt know all of the details, but in my experience, the addict is the servant.
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Definitely agree! The minions – I like that word – seem to have stopped running a commentary, it seems.
Was just a thought. Which was helpful at that moment.
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The user is using you. The user is self serving. Using has no power of it’s own. No servant here, only a slave to using. šš·
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Thanks Krista. Definitely true. Shame that it’s so… maybe one day it’ll be different.
Thanks for taking the time to reply…
Love, light, and glitter
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Perhaps, both are happening at the same time.
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Hmm that’s actually something I never thought of. You may be right there. It’s a good point. I still don’t want to serve using, but yes, using serves me, gives me something, else I wouldn’t need or want it.
Thank you!!!
ššš
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I don’t know, makes me wonder and reflect š Also yeah, like WeDIDPtsd said, comments have been marked as spam, and I always appreciate your words š
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At least I’m a spammer now š
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It serves me, but in a way I don’t want it to (yet most probably need it to), and therefore I am slave to it too.
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I like the comment here. That it can be both. I also really believe that with exceptions we let go of stuff when we’re ready to. That it serves it’s purpose and we learn how to meet that purpose in other ways and then can let it go.
ššš
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After years of being recovered from ED, I found ways to use food in healthy ways to manage extreme emotions and situations. I had to learn how to deal with life on life’s terms first. Live through those hard days and moments when I wanted ANYTHING to make the feelings go away. After many years of being out of the cycle of ED, I found that I could make a conscious decision to eat x to ease my discomfort. It meant that I was actively choosing my coping skill, I only bought I was going to eat in that moment. I didn’t allow any guilt about it. I think I’m the exception rather than the rule in terms of recovery.
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I actually want to live the way you do and am so happy to hear it’s possible. To live eventually away from it. I feel like I’m living without an ED now – even though I did something that would be I saw it as a negative choice. Although it’s only been 3 months. I want to be able to use paracetamol or cocodamol for pain in a healthy way. I believe it’s possible. Self harm can never be a healthy choice so leaving that. I’m glad that you did it. It gives me hope. It’s what I hated about 12 step programmes because I think the goal is health, not just abstinence. Though yeah, it probably really is only after years of not living in the cycles. At the moment I’m way too close although it feels like it’s been forever.
And I’ve been rambling…
Thanks for sharing!!!
If you ever write a post explaining this I’d love to share it… (or if you want to write one for here) I think it’s so important for people to know it’s possible…
ššš
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