I’m freaking out. Not for any reason. Writing this is focusing me. Friend asked me to come say hello. Not sure if I can – as in, if I’ll be able to hold myself together enough. Gonna get out the car and say hello to her. Even though, I dunno. I don’t know what I want from her. I made an appointment to speak to someone on Thursday. I don’t think it’ll be helpful, mainly coz he sounded like he was making this appointment as a favour for the aforementioned friend. Yesterday dermatology appointment was okay and krav maga which I was panicking about before and it was okay. Gonna go to said friends house now for a few minutes – I went to say hello in the car park and she asked if I can come over. I will have to ask her another time what I am like when I’m on edge. And just, every moment is a new moment.

Love, light and glitter


29 thoughts on “Random

  1. Slow deep breaths. You are ok. Center yourself. Find that place within or without that brings you calmness and peace. It’s not always easy in the moment. I know all too well. You will make it through this. As you have before.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. If we share certain personality traits, Eliza (and I’m confident we do), freaking out is all too easy. The only cure for our kind is repetition – frequent and persistent reassurance that things won’t be as bad we had feared they’d be. No “overnight cures” here, Eliza, just a gradual warming, as the temperature picks up a degree or two every week, month, etc.

    Plus, you’re doing the smart thing, reaching out to others, inviting them along for the ride. Maybe they’ll help you the same way you’ve helped others, by sharing your persistence, struggles and triumphs with the world. How many others’ web aspirations have you encouraged? You planted the garden, and now it blooms. In January, no less.

    You’ve been there for us – how can we do anything but return the favor?

    Liked by 4 people

    1. You’re just nice. I don’t think I was freaking about anything and I’m grateful that I’m aware of it – which I never used to be.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hope you’re okay, and if you aren’t, you’ll be better!
    I’m just wondering- do you often have these attacks?
    You don’t have to do this, but, meditation really helps when it comes to needing to calm oneself down or to center yourself. A particular type- Ziva meditation- really does help when it comes to things like these. And it isn’t like you have to do this for half-an-hour on a yoga mat in Vajrasana or Padmasana or anything. You can do it on a train station, or in the car, or while waiting for a cab… Anywhere.(It will help extra if you do it for 5 minutes in the morning before waking up)
    Hope this helps πŸ™‚
    (Also, sorry if this seemed to nosy or anything. I mean no, like, nosiness. Just wanna help πŸ™‚ )

    Liked by 3 people

    1. It could help. Where do you get it from? I try things out, usually don’t keep to them but even for a bit πŸ™‚
      I’m not sure, to be honest. It’s what is and I’m not always in tune with it.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You are amazing, really you are, and to live amazingly YOU need to look after yourself. You’re already doing so much to ensure that but live your life on your own term which means at your pace. If you feel that all you can offer is just a ‘hello’ and nothing more than keep it at that. If you not ready then you can say ‘another time’. I’m all for living in the moment and trying new things but if at any time you want to opt you have the power to do so, never forget that!
    Reflect. Love. Heal xXx

    Liked by 2 people

        1. I said hello outside her house and then went for a drive for a while. I didn’t go in and that is good that I didn’t. It was nice to see her anyways

          Liked by 1 person

  5. Slow sound breaths. You are ok. Center yourself. had as vicinity inside yet barring that brings ye peace and peace. It’s no longer constantly easy among the moment. I be aware of all too well. You choice make that via this. As ye have before

    Liked by 1 person

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