Because I’m not journaling.

Journaling is good for me. When I’m in a good space I’m journaling all the time. I’m never sure what comes first – the journaling and okayness, or the lack.

I’m in an okay space now. I’m present, which I feel like I’ve said so often here. I’m so grateful for it. To really be present in the world. I don’t mean present with what I feel either in my body or emotionally for I’ve never been present with the latter, I do sometimes notice my body. I mean present in the world. I love the reality. I’m guessing that if I ever am really present in my body and emotions I’ll love it as much as I love this. It would be, it will be, cool.

Been eating too much junk and purging. Trying to. Holding off. Doing so. It just is. I never really did stop. It’s just a sign to me of where I’m at. I’m not sure where that is. For I’ve been eating enough healthy food too. I think. And, I’m trying to create a life I love. I’m running to and from school. I emailed someone to ask about volunteering. I didn’t get a reply, but, I reached out.

I’ve joined a pilates class – which I’ll be stopping at the end of the 6 classes paid for. Maybe we’ll find another more experienced instructor. This instructor is just young and definitely cant handle people with issues. I’ve been leaving every class dizzy. Really dizzy. Another participant with pain – some pain is good, but not this kind. We’ll see.

I went to a krav maga class and I’m looking forward to the next 3 of the introduction series. It was actually this krav maga exercise class that showed me it’s the pilates instructor for I didn’t leave dizzy. Even though it was just the next night and I’d been feeling dizzy that day, the class didnt make me dizzy.

I’m trying to fill out an application for a level 3 in youth work. I really want to get accepted for one of the few spots on the course. I need a good application. To send off by Sunday. I don’t know how to fill it in. Its 2 main questions- why do you want to do it, what do you think you have to offer. I don’t know how to answer.

I’m doing good things. At the same time as some of what I’m doing isn’t so great. I’ve not been sleeping anywhere near enough. I wish I could get to sleep earlier. Maybe one day I’ll be able to just go to sleep.

Not sure the point of this post.

Love, light and glitter

Eliza

46 thoughts on “Random rambling 27615

  1. There is always a point in writing, if only to get it out of your chest. It’s good that you’re reaching out to people and trying to get voluntary work. You don’t say what kind of work you went after, but I’m sure there are plenty to choose from, whether working in charity shops or conservation work: keep looking. As for pilates, I hope you’ll find a more experienced instructor who can meet your needs better. Don’t give up on either account. Good luck! πŸ‘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I applied for a level 3 in youth work – sent off the application. And there is a specific place I want to volunteer with, just still thinking about it πŸ™‚
      Love, light and glitter!!!!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Keep at the Pilates, just be careful and stop before you get dizzy. It does sound weird that that’s happening. I hope the good things continue Eliza πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Si
      How is your writing coming along? I know you could’ve posted, I just am falling really far behind here but would love to know how you’re doing…
      πŸ’–πŸ’‘βœ¨

      Like

      1. Hi Eliza, that’s ok I know how it goes sometimes your can’t keep up. But don’t feel pressured to ok?

        My last post tells all and it went on earlier but I’m at 28k words and going up πŸ˜€

        How are you?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Just read and replied. And then read this… I don’t feel pressured. I haven’t done anything this evening other than read and reply to posts… πŸ™‚
          πŸ’•πŸ•―πŸŽ‰

          Like

  3. I took yoga and pilates once and was all excited about the two classes but I was the “newbie” in the class; everyone else had taken the classes before and was just taking them for the moves, etc. I had to drop both as I was klutzy and could not keep up. In your application write about journaling, having a blog, interacting with others … it shows diligence for writing on a regular basis and your ability to get along with others who also write from the heart, share their thoughts … blogging is very personal and that you have the ability to share your thoughts with the world (using this blog) is an attribute to you. mention your recurring feature about wanting to share the good things in the world –
    you want to make this world a better place by sharing the joy. Mention all the traveling because it makes you adaptable and well-rounded having seen the world and it can be a teachable moment for your students down the road. Good luck with the application Eliza.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That sounds like it would happen to me…
      I wish I could star this comment – bookmark it, because although I’m only seeing it after I sent the application off, it’s got some really helpful information for any application or CV/resume I’d ever write.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am sorry you didn’t see it until afterward Eliza – I didn’t comment til Friday night after work and I knew you don’t go on social media Friday and Saturday. I should have e-mailed you. Yes, keep those thoughts because they are good to show how well-rounded you are besides what you have learned in school toward your job/career. Any kind of travel subjects you to more than you would ever learn in a book. And the journal writing as well as the blogging is an attribute (a “feather in your cap” used to be the expression). To start a blog is to share with the world a little piece of yourself … not everyone is willing to do that. You may have a telephone interview or consultation regarding your application so you can use it then or keep it as you said.
        I did horribly in the classes and these were women who wanted the structure of taking a class and meeting regularly. So, I got the money back and went to an electronics store and bought a portable DVD player and yoga and pilates DVDs and came home with it – my mother said “you’ll never do that Linda – get your money back because I know you better than you know yourself.”
        Turns out Mom was right – I never used them!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. So they’re still sitting there? At least you felt like you were doing something….
          I actually see my comments more than my email….
          Love, light and glitter

          Liked by 1 person

      1. She doesn’t do this for work. She’s just a little older and wiser and cooler.

        Linda???? Not that I remember exactly what you do *hiding. Maybe I’m anyways meant to leave this comment to you to respond to!

        Is there commentiquette?

        Love, light and glitter

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Thank you – no, I don’t do this for work … I’m a legal secretary, but I do work for a labor lawyer for management so maybe somewhere along the line I’ve seen what employers want and what they don’t want. I also listen to a business reporter on the radio with his little tips about success in the work world and absorb them like a sponge. I am older [(thanks Eliza about the wiser and cooler part πŸ™‚ I appreciate that] …so I am not looking for a job and will stay with my boss until he retires – he will be 73 next March; I am 63 now. We’ve worked together 20 years. But I do think that it takes guts to write a blog and share it with the world. I started mine at the insistence of my neighbor. I never told anyone else for a very long time and she was my only reader – in fact I only had two people reading/commenting for two solid years until a fellow WordPress blogger “discovered me” – I said “how did you find my blog and why did you follow me?” My subscribers were via e-mail.

        Liked by 2 people

          1. Good question. I feel like I’ve heard how Linda, but can’t recall if I’m right.
            It’s really awesome to just know how to write and say things. At least we now know who to turn to for help πŸ™‚
            πŸ’•πŸ’–πŸ’ž

            Liked by 1 person

          2. My boss? Well we worked together in a Firm – I worked for someone different (a defense attorney who did mostly auto negligence, products liability – work which I really liked) from 1993 until he left in 2001. I loved that job but one of the main partners at our Firm committed suicide. That attorney had a lot of clients – none of those clients liked the only other corporate attorney and took their business elsewhere. We lost a lot of business, had financial woes and so we went through a merger (more like an acquisition). So all the attorneys’ rates firm wide were raised $150.00/hour or more. That did not go over well with many clients, including my former boss’ practice, whose main client was an insurance company – they went to another law firm. To make it worse than losing all his clients, my boss was told he was not profitable, despite being an equity partner and told he must leave. He took his time leaving and had no work – he eventually got a job at the City of Detroit Law Department. I helped out my current boss. He went through secretaries like water as he was so busy and sometimes condescending and the young attorneys were a little afraid of him. I just started working for him as my other boss was leaving. It was a win-win for both of us. My current boss was told to raise his rates too and he said β€œfine” but we left before this could be implemented. He had been β€œof counsel” and they did not touch his rates then, but they made him become a non-equity partner and raise his rates – we left the Firm in January 2003 and started our own firm. All our clients (62) came with us (just him/I) … now I work from home. When the recession hit, I was laid off – we had been crazy busy, but suddenly everyone was doing their own labor and human resources work. My mom became ill while I was laid off. I was hired back in 2011, however, just part time so I now work from home. I do have a degree in print journalism however, it’s not done a bit of good for my job to be honest.

            Liked by 2 people

              1. Sorry, I misinterpreted … my first follower is someone who writes poetry and takes photos, often of trees. His moniker is “Uncle Tree” and my post showed up as it was about Fall foliage. Keith (a/k/a Uncle Tree) https://uncletreeshouse.com/
                is on a blogging break right now – had several deaths in his immediate family over the past year, so he is taking some time off.

                Liked by 2 people

                  1. Yes, that’s what Keith did because I was not tagging in those days, I just started tagging in February of 2018 on the 5th anniversary of the blog. I was not too savvy about blogging before that – just writing mostly; I’ve been getting interested in photography more and more the last few years.

                    Liked by 2 people

                    1. No, I meant I should have used tags – I never used them until 2018, the fifth anniversary of my blog … I was a slow learner, and was just writing and walking and not really in tune with the whole blogging concept. πŸ™‚

                      Liked by 1 person

  4. Enjoy Pilates when you find that suitable class. I used to do it, but couldn’t afford it. I do Pilates at home, at times. Ones that allow me to stretch.
    A good Pilates teacher will accommodate you. They will give you a different move for you, if the move that everyone else is doing is not doable.
    A good Pilates teacher will remind you of posture, check your posture, to make sure you are doing it right to get the benefit and remind you to listen to your body.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. These questions for your work application suck. I absolutely hate these.
    As for Pilates – I think it has the potential to be awesome, but it really depends on the instructor/ type of class. What you are describing isn’t normal. I went to one out of which I came out dizzy. Never went back. It took a bit of searching before I found the right fit.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m thinking of giving the instructor some constructive feedback because the group is really cute. I like the people I’m doing the class with and unless we go as a group to someone else, it’s nice to spend the time with them. She’s young and new so doesn’t really know a lot of stuff – she knows pilates, but nothing much more. If she can learn how to handle anything slightly more it’ll be good for her, too. If she can’t, nothing lost. I’m not sure if we’ve paid for one more or two more classes. Why’m I rambling? Did you gain a lot from it when you found a good instructor?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes. I have to admit that I was very skeptical for years, but finally gave in and went for a class. That night I slept sooooooo good. I have back problems and pilates helps with that. It also relaxes me and helps the things in my head to settle down. Plus, it’s quite a full body workout when done right. I had no idea I would enjoy it so much.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I’m glad to hear this especially for one of the people in my group who finds it makes her back problems worse. It’s definitely exercise for the muscles!!! I can’t do a lot of them…
          do you still do it?

          Liked by 1 person

          1. She might be doing it wrong.
            I moved out of state and had to say goodbye to an absolutely phenomenal instructor. It was not easy to find a good one again. Yes, I still do it, but on and off depending on a few factors. The instructor I find is good, but not as great as the first one 😦

            Liked by 1 person

    1. It can be done staying on the floor. Just choosing exercises right for you – if you have a good instructor who can tailor it to you, or choose good exercises. Or standing. I love the idea of pilates – strengthening the core.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s