I can’t see that there’s any point in writing anything, but maybe.
Shaking. Was freaking earlier. It’s like, the can’t breathe freaking, that immediately gives way to shaking – if I let it, which I do and don’t. I wish I’d understand what it’s about. I don’t understand it. I’m okay. I really and truly am okay. Work was okay today. Being back at work was okay. The staff seem to be sweet. The girls seem to be really cute – I seem to be teaching a bunch of cute girls who want to learn. Journaled rambled. Read. Then freaking out – not over anything as far as I can see.
I just wish I knew how to make this stop. How to be able to go to sleep. Instead of ‘listening’ to music through headphones and reading. And shaking. And freaking. When I want to go to sleep and can’t for not in a place that can do so. I know what helps me get to an okay place when I’m not – or maybe I don’t, but there are some things that help me. I don’t know how to stop freaking out and ease the tightness though. I’m breathing properly. I’m relaxing – or trying to. I’m okay. And, I don’t know.
I’m grateful for music. I’m grateful for S, who came over, looked at my new stuff and approved. I’m grateful I was able to help my friend. I’m grateful for books to read. I’m grateful that I’m back to journaling the last few days, I know it’s good for me. I’m grateful for all the awesome people I meet her. I’m grateful that I’m present enough to know I’m okay even if and though I’m freaking and have no clue what to do about it. I’m grateful I could ask. I’m grateful was able to teach others how to do something yesterday, was nice to be able to help in that way. I’m grateful for seeing friends today. I’m grateful.
This says nothing and didn’t actually help to write. I was kinda hoping that it would.
I also don’t especially enjoy shaking.
Love, light and glitter
learn to go into your shaking or breathlessness … maybe draw it, make it a colour and shape, get to know it better … I find going into my chronic pain helped more than being agro or fiercely trying to block it out π
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks for the suggestion Kate. I’ve found that helpful with other things, never thought of trying it with this.
Love, light and glitter
LikeLiked by 1 person
it is quite revealing .. good luck with it … helps to depict our demons not just write about them π
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry to hear you were freaking out. I hope you feel calmer now.
Do the numbers in the title have any significance?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nope. Not sure what they mean to be honest, though we can apply whatever significance we want π
LikeLiked by 1 person
Damn, I was hoping it was GPS coordinates to a hidden treasure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Shhh, I thought that was a well kept secret…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve had panic attacks for what seems like forever. The shaking is your fight or flight reaction. I have a great medical doctor who walked me through a bad one in her office one day. The method seems silly and embarrassing, but I tell you… IT WORKS!!!!
Start with stomping your feet a little bit, then shaking your hands and arms a bit… purposefully move and shake your body for a minute or two. It doesn’t have to be drastic or take forever. This releases the adrenaline and cortisone in your body created by the panic. The difference afterwards is remarkable!!!
With that said, I’m sorry today was so hard. β₯ Hugs to you!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m going to try this. I can imagine it could help and then you’re in control of it and it won’t go on forever.
Thanks for taking the time to share.
Love, light and glitter
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’re more than welcome, Eliza! β₯ Love light & glitter… my favorite things π
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m sorry about this. A good friend of mine is going through the same thing at the moment. It’s just sad to see people go through this. Hope you feel better π
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks UFN! Or another name if you have one π
Love, light and glitter
LikeLiked by 1 person
Of course. And that works, or you can call me Belle π Hope all is well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Belle π
If you sign off as Belle enough times I’ll learn it.
I’m waiting for your next posts!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha, will do! And thank you. π
LikeLiked by 1 person
Can you check your spam comments?
It’s good to see you posting π
Have a good day Belle
Love, light and glitter
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the tip!! Wow, didn’t realize most of your comments were going in there. Sorry bout that!
You too!! β€
LikeLiked by 1 person
If you check your spam folder regularly you’ll probably catch it. It’s annoying, I know π¦
((hugs))
LikeLiked by 1 person
Have you tried breathing slowly when something like this happens?
I hope you were able to calm down by now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I got to sleep eventually.
Breathing slowly never helps, but it’s okay, as today’s a new day π
Love, light and glitter
LikeLiked by 1 person
π¦ I’m terrible at making people feel better. I know. But I’m happy to hear that you are starting afresh.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You helped by caring and commenting.
Love, light and glitter
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can relate to what you’re going through, though it’s been 25 years since I’ve had to deal with it personally. I’m going to be very clear here, because this is important. All of that breathing stuff is BS. You can’t breathe, or concentrate on breathing, when you’ve got a hamster on the hamster wheel in your melon spinning at 350 rpm. That $#!+ just doesn’t work. What DOES is calling someone and talking through it. Or call someone, talk through it and go to a meeting… or read some Big Book stuff… anything that gets you thinking about recovery instead of how you’re freaking out. This will go away over time, but only if you work toward that happening. If you just sit and let your head spin, that’s exactly what will happen… until you use again. Then, rinse and repeat. Repeatedly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for taking the time to reply. I appreciate it. I love your expressions!
It definitely does pass if don’t think about it, and let it be and move on to other things.
Happy weekend and happy biking π
Love, light and glitter
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well I am grateful for you and your writings.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks KJ…. I appreciate that
LikeLike
Bless your heart! Panic and anxiety are some of the worst experiences to feel. Your whole body just vibrates and you feel like you want to jump right out of your skin but can’t. The agitation, the frustration, the feeling of being trapped – I am so sorry.
Are you familiar at all with Inositol? It used to be considered vitamin B8 but is now recognized for what it is – a type of sugar found naturally in the body. Inositol is responsible for balancing hormones and neurotransmitters in the body. People who have chronic pain, anxiety, depression, OCD, PCOS, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and conditions along these lines – are not properly transmitting Inositol in their bodies.
I began taking only 1 capsule (I take the capsules instead of the powder) and found it to be unbelievably helpful in keeping me far more peaceful and calm. Each person is different of course and I’m not here to give medical advice. But if you are interested at all, please do look in to Inositol and its benefits. You might just find that it changes your life too. π
Endless blessings & love being sent your way…. π ~ Holly
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve never heard of it before Holly. Sounds interesting though. I’ll check it out. Thanks for mentioning it!
Love, light and glitter
E
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hugs. There are actually a couple of guided meditations on Insight Timer that will walk you through the progressive body movement techniques that people recommended above for free.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. I’m downloading the app and I’ll check it out.
Love, light and glitter
LikeLike
I hope the shaking stops π
LikeLiked by 1 person
You haven’t posted in a while…..
((hugs))
LikeLike
I know… Life is getting in the way. ((Hugs))
LikeLike
So long as you’re okay….
LikeLike
Yeah… I’m ok. I think.
I hope you are π
LikeLiked by 1 person
(((((hugs)))))
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Eliza… (((HUGS))) back π
You’re Ok right?
LikeLiked by 1 person
At the moment I am. Thanks!
LikeLike
Thanks good to know ππ€
LikeLiked by 1 person