Why can’t people mind-read? I expect them to. I expect them to know what I think and when they don’t give me what I wanted – which I didn’t specifically ask for but meant and intended – I’m really hurt and know that they don’t care about me at all.
Just been journaling and wrote the above. Decided to come and write about it here.
I was journaling about E. Someone I was hurt with who wasn’t there for me when I reached out to her, after telling me just a week before that I could reach out to her and she would be really happy to be there. I’d sent her a link to what I wrote – Thinking about using – with the words Just want to share. I thought she would respond and she didn’t. That meant to me that she wasn’t there. Thinking about it now, the words I said, that I want to share, kinda leaves no necessary response. I wasn’t asking her to respond. I was asking her to listen. If she read what I wrote, she did listen. She didn’t give me what I didn’t ask for.
Was thinking too about what went on earlier today. I sent RR what I wrote – the dialogue about how/why bad exists – he responded pretty quickly that it’s amazing and thank you so much for sharing. I was hurt. I was hurt and angry with his response. For it wasn’t what I wanted from him. I wanted him to engage with the material I sent to him. I’d have loved his thoughts on a couple of the points I wrote about. He didn’t give that to me. So I was hurt. (Which makes me feel bad that I was upset instead of grateful. Grateful that he’d taken the time to read what I wrote. And bother responding when he has absolutely no need or desire to do so. And, I am. I do appreciate it). I guess I felt like he’d disregarded what I’d asked for. He didn’t give me what I didn’t ask for.
Why can’t people mind-read? This is just todays examples. I don’t necessarily have examples of this every day. I’m assuming if I think about it I can come up with a whole lot of examples from different times. Actually, I can think of a lot of times. I was hurt with people. They didn’t give me what I didn’t ask for. I meant it. I implied it. I thought it. I knew it. It was and is so evident to me that in my mind it should be so evident to the other person. And of course I don’t see at the time that I haven’t actually stated what I want. For in my mind, I’ve said it. It’s so real and so true that obviously the other person knows. Why can’t people mind-read again?
I was journaling about E because she had offered 2 things to me at the same time and I was realising I can’t ask her to do what she said she would. If she didn’t do the first I can’t trust she meant the second. So I was thinking about her today. Except that, thankfully now I see that she didn’t necessarily back out from the first. So she hasn’t backed out from her second offer either. And I can still ask her if she wants to join me in that.
The most important example I can think of is with AH, my ex therapist. What ultimately ended it – asides from both of us messing up big time – was his inability to mind-read and understand all I was trying to say. I know now that it was his responsibility, as the therapist, to make sure that didn’t get in the way, but that definitely played a big part. He couldn’t give to me what I didn’t ask for.
The point is, why is it that people can’t mind-read? I expect them to. And they can’t. And I’m hurt when they haven’t given me what I’ve asked for. Except that I haven’t actually asked for it! I intended it. I meant it. I implied it. I wanted it. I thought it. I knew it. I even thought I spelled it out in A, B, C. Yet I didn’t. Yet, I don’t. And I end up being hurt by it. I’m the one hurt by it, not them. They don’t care if they aren’t a part of my life. They couldn’t care less if they’d never hear from me again. They couldn’t care about me either way. I care.
Why did you say people can’t mind-read?
Love, light and glitter