I haven’t written here in a while. Haven’t wanted to. Or been able to look passed what happened.

People were killed now in Hurricane Dorian. A kid. It somehow seems so tragic when it’s a child.

Life. A mixture of light and darkness.

  • Source of the world, why?
    Because of a magnitude of reasons too great to fathom
  • S, are you light or dark?
    Both. Neither and both. Everything. It’s all the same.
  • So which are you?
    Neither and both. It isn’t good or bad. What you see as bad may not be bad, what you see as good may not be good.
  • So what are you?
    Everything. You are everything too.
  • What is darkness?
    Darkness is different. Darkness isn’t the good or the bad. Darkness is the lack of light.
  • So S, how do you dispel the darkness?
    By shining a light E. By turning on the light.
  • Is it possible to always turn on the light?
    No. Sometimes you can’t do it. But it can be turned on. (It may need others to teach you how to turn it on or shine the light when you can’t.)
  • And the darkness that fills people that drives them to murder?
    The lack of light E, the Lack. Of. Light.
  • Can I shine the light?
    That’s up to you. Are you ready to be the light? When you are, yes, you can.
  • S. Why? Why?
    Can you answer me why?
  • No. For I can’t understand it. How it’s possible for mass destruction caused by you, hurricanes, tornadoes, et al.
    What about the sunrises, the mountains?
  • They don’t cancel each other out. One doesn’t make the other okay. So, why?
    Because it brings good too. The people who come to help. It teaches the value of life. Shows the impermanence of the physical and lets them tap into their unknown strength, which if they didn’t need it, they would never have found it. Never have known just how courageous and strong and beautiful they are.
  • Why do they need to know?
    For themselves. So they can light within them and shine their torches.
  • And the people who give up in despair?
    They have the choice. To choose the darkness or the light.
  • Why is it fair to give them that choice?
    If they’d never have the choice they would never know. If you never let a baby fall it will never learn to walk. People have to be able to choose.
  • I don’t know.
    You don’t need to know. You don’t need to know today. You, too, have the choice. Every moment of your life And you choose. Either the light or the dark, and you learn from your choices. You learn every moment what works and what doesn’t.
  • Why is it fair?
    No one said it’s fair E. No one said it is fair. Because ‘fair’ is arbitrary and measured differently by everyone. It’s not about fair. It’s about right.
  • And is it? Right?
    Both yes and no. Ultimately, yes. Sometimes some things aren’t right, and that is a part of letting people make their own choices. Sometimes there is bad, not just darkness. Is it all ‘right’? In the greater scheme of things, yes, it all adds to the journey that life is.
  • And why does there have to be life?
    That’s another question entirely E, and not one that can be answered at the moment. For the moment, just know that you are okay. You have all the answers. Bad isn’t right but is what it’s meant to be. Darkness is a lack of light. You can be the light E. You can and will. As will all those around you. You may not always know but sometimes you will. It’s okay to fail, or pause. You can and will always get back up. It’s just this moment. The moment is all you have and all you need. It’s okay to ask. It’s okay to care. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to let it go. You won’t always know or understand. Which you may not find to be okay. You can accept it though once you understand enough. You may not understand how the bad and darkness is okay. Yet. You may not yet understand it. You can accept it and continue to work through it.
    Working through what you believe is scary for what if you hurt people you care about in the process? And, you will deal with that then. You may hurt them if you believe Judaism isn’t true, but that isn’t now, for you haven’t been interested in working through it because you’ve been freaking out about the darkness and sadness that allows suicide. You’ve gotten caught up in the darkness, instead of looking at it, which you are doing now instead. I promise E, the darkness is just a lack of light. People choose things, they make mistakes, and it has no bearing on you or your life unless you let it – which is your choice.
    Keep choosing. Keep learning. And one day you will understand more than you do today. One day you will be okay with life existing. Because, when you love life enough, you may always think the world would have been better without the existence of life, but you won’t feel it’s unfair. You won’t resent it. Which will make the question nonexistent.
    It’s just about now E. Just right now.


24 thoughts on “Dialogue with a source. Why is there darkness in the world? – Part 10

  1. It is sad to see the aftermath – hearing the stories of the grandmother whose grandchildren were torn away during the hurricane and just gone. Very scary, very sad and as of today 44 people have died. It makes you stop and think about how powerful Mother Nature really is – we should always be in awe … and in fear of her.

    Liked by 1 person

          1. I am too Eliza – poor woman. Yesterday there was a house fire. I will send you the link if you want to post it for your North American followers, but I will cut and paste the story below. Someone drove by and stopped and gave a check for $700.00; another person came by and gave a check for $500.00 later in the day; heard that on the news. This is NOT the norm here.



            Posted Sep 12 2019 07:51AM EDT
            Video Posted Sep 12 2019 07:44AM EDT
            Updated Sep 12 2019 09:58AM EDT

            DETROIT (FOX 2) – Seventeen people living inside a multi-level home in southwest Detroit all survived a house fire overnight.

            We’re told six people lived downstairs and 11 lived upstairs. The six people living downstairs were all sent to the hospital, one of which is an infant, for minor injuries and are all expected to be okay. Three have already been released.

            The fire started around 2 a.m. Thursday in the 8000 block of Whitaker. Neighbors were the first ones to spot the flames and right away they called for help, and tried to help rescue several of the people sleeping inside.

            “I kicked the door down and the house was so filled with smoke. Luckily the kids were already up, coming down and I told them – and their mother told them as well – ‘Is everybody out? Do a head count,’ and there was somebody still in there,” neighbor Ryan Parinasah told us.

            Everybody who was inside did get outside safely. The 11 people living upstairs did lose everything in the fire though.

            While we were outside the home around 6 a.m., we saw a man drive up and hand one of the families $700 because he had heard what happened and wanted to give them some help.

            Investigators believe at this time the fire may have been started from a lit candle. A storm blew through last night and knocked out power in the area.

            Detroiters Helping Each Other is now collecting clothes, shoes, hygiene products and food for the families. Donations can be dropped off at 2501 Pearl Street in Detroit.

            Liked by 1 person

              1. I am happy to help out, especially considering these good turns are quite unusual … the person who gave the $700.00 said he was a landlord and just collected rent money and gave it to them because “we have to do nice things in this world for other people” … heard the interview on the news and the other person was a passerby and gave $500.00 (assuming a check) …wow, just wow is right!

                Liked by 1 person

  2. Darkness is never absolute. (except in fiction) There is always a photon or two which may be found if you look for it. And of course, you may bring your own light into any shadow.
    Thank you fo sharing your conversation with source.
    It is illuminating!
    Dr. Bob

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks DB! This made me smile. Light is a choice of ours to make. To bring into the world.

      I was wondering about your blog. When you say N takes over (scared of spelling incorrectly!) Who is N? And how does that work? And Flora? I read a bit but didn’t get far back enough to find an intro or something… only if you don’t mind sharing…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Eliza: Nsonowa, full name Katlego Kalish Nsonowa, Il’oi-bonokoh, and Flora are my tulpas. A tulpa is a being created in my mind by a practice, called tulpamancy. It is an ancient practice created in the monasteries in Tibet and used by both monks and by itinerate magicians. It was introduced to the west at the turn of the twentieth century by Alexandra David-Neel a french anthropologist. It became popular after the advent of the internet which allowed practitioners to communicate with each other and attract others who have had similar experiences. Those would be many in the plural communities and many authors whose fictional characters have come to life. It is not an easy process and involves, at least in my experience, a great deal of introspection and self-observation. Mindfulness meditation has been key. I have written a fiction piece in which my tulpas are featured, however, I created them and they came to live inside of me before I wrote the book. You may find it here; https://www.amazon.com/Tulpa-Tales-Confessions-Elder-Tulpamancer/dp/0463231074/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=tulpa+tales%3A+Confessions+of+an+elder+tulpamancer&qid=1582006713&s=books&sr=1-1 Thanks for your curiosity. Dr. Bob

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thanks for explaining.
          I thought you meant something like that, though I thought you meant something slightly different, so I’m glad I know what you mean now 🙂
          Love, light, and glitter

          Liked by 1 person

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