I’m sad. Well, I don’t feel anything at all at the moment. I’m reblogging part of the letter I wrote a few months back – what I wish I could have said before she/he succeeded. What I wish I could write to every single person who faces the question, should they hang on for another day of life or end it now. Is there a purpose? There is no purpose? What for? Why live? I wish I could come and sit with every person feeling that way. Either way, I wrote this to someone (who had succeeded) back in January. The full letter is here. I was going to include more in this post but I’ve decided not to.

If you’re reading this I’m guessing you’re suicidal. Have thought, are thinking of, suicide as a viable option. I know that place. Where the only option is to end your life in order to end the pain. It isn’t about ending your life I know. It’s about stopping the world. Getting off from a world you didn’t ask to be part of. Maybe that’s just how I see it. The train moving way too fast on the tracks, the tracks ending at a cliff, the train is going to hurtle down the cliff and you’re going to be shattered to pieces at the bottom. Or you can just get off the train of life.

….

What I wish you could know with all certainty, is that you are worth it. That you are special. That you are beautiful. Just because you are. Just because you exist. You are. Therefore you’re awesome. I know it’s hard to see or believe that at the moment. That it doesn’t make a difference if it’s true or not. Just know that I believe in you. That I trust you. That I know you have way more strength and beauty than you can ever imagine. If you’re able to feel such pain, it says something about you. It tells me just how far your love can go. Just how amazing you are.

…

I’m sad. I’m sad that you’re sad. I’m sad that the world is sad. I’m sad that I can’t actually come and sit with you right now. I’m sad.

The full letter can be read here. I wish I could have told you this before you killed yourself — Reasons to live

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14 thoughts on “I wish I could have told you this before you killed yourself – RTL”

  1. We often find it hard to see any beauty or worth in ourselves when we’re in these dark moments but you’re absolutely right, there is beauty in all of us. We are incredibly unique. When you consider the cosmic odds of us being able to exist in the first place then add that to the odds of your DNA making you exactly who you are, we’re all miracles. In some form or another. We should live more like little miracles. I try. I’ve been up half the night wanting to not be here anymore but these things make me see that we’re all here for reasons and have some purpose on this planet.

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  5. Thank you for this Eliza. You are right about all you stated here and more. I too understand all those feelings and more. I was close. Closer than I had ever thought I would be. The “reason” is different for everyone. For some it’s harder to come back than others. This too I know… when I come across others who are there I will do my best to keep them back from that ledge but I will give them this to read too. For realizing there are others out there who are going through similar or worsening things yet hanging on and in there can help. Also, helping them to remember their worth and beauty make a significant difference as well. Even within the sadness it makes me smile knowing there are those out there who genuinely want to help. Again Thank You. Remember your words my dear.

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    1. I loved this letter.
      I know why someone would choose it. Doesn’t hurt me any less – for them. That they’ll never have another choice, no one more sunrises or smiles (cant sleep for sad about it)..
      Love, light and glitter

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  6. yes it is sad

    the train is going too fast and too bumpy

    so much temptation to get off

    rather than ride while grasping one’s bags and burdens while trying to hang on

    well written

    thanks

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    1. You got it.
      The train feels like its gonna crash, but that doesn’t mean it will.
      I’m sad for those that will never see another sunrise. Never know there could have been another choice. Never experience the train slowing down and the beauty life could be.
      Thanks for passing by…
      Love, light and glitter

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