I left off part 5 discussing lack, trying to understand whether the darkness in the world is a description of infinity or limit.

What, the question to me is, is the expression of limit. Is goodness the limit and darkness the expression of infinity? Is darkness the limit and light the expression of infinity?

Lack. Is absence limit? Or is absence a description. Absence, a lack of something, is usually a description of limit. What does that mean about darkness? Is darkness an entity on its’ own, or is the lack an absence of light?

There is such beauty everywhere. I pause and look out of the window. I see branches reaching for the sky. I see the sunlight on leaves. I see a blue and white background. I feel the wind around me, the caress of it over me. Gentleness. Peace. Beauty. Light. The world is filled with so much joy. A child’s laugh. I love the innocence of children. The purity. Someone responded to me the other day that he thinks I want to be naive. I do. I believe in goodness. Do I believe in the goodness of the world?

I believe there is good. The beauty, sparkle, has to be reflection of infinity.

The question is whether the darkness, the tears, the pain, is the essence of the infinite too, or if that’s lack. I think of when I prayed for and planned for death. I think of my friend who can never have children. I look at my sister, fighting demons. My friend who was raped. My friend who attempted suicide. This darkness, where does it come from? What does it reflect? Does it maybe, ultimately bring more good, make the light brighter, clearer, more evident? Is it like the sunset, the night, that allows the stars to flicker and be seen? If there were no night there would be, could be, no dawn. No waiting by the water, no waiting on the mountain top, to see the first rays of the day break, painting the sky with the colours of sunrise.

Darkness, light, what is reality? What is truth, what is false? Where is limit? What if darkness is just an expression of limit. Night being the place the sun doesn’t shine? Then, how can it be that infinity, which is everything lets darkness reign? How can the infinite allow darkness to take a life of its’ own and become, become so much more, than just limit?

To be continued..